


Falling Embers

by ChromiumHeart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Boba Fett is Alive, Bottom Poe Dameron, Brainwashing, Drinking, Drugs, Gay Poe Dameron, Gay Sex, Hallucinations, Kissing, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Protective Poe Dameron, Psychological Torture, Scars, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Top Armitage Hux, Torture, smugglers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromiumHeart/pseuds/ChromiumHeart
Summary: Sequel toBurning Skies.Poe Dameron has large gaps in his memories. Armitage Hux has a string of words that makes Poe forget. In their past are both the Resistance and the First Order, but someone wants them back, and will stop at nothing to acquire them.





	1. Smugglers for Hire

**Author's Note:**

> All chapters will have warnings when applicable (this story will involve smut, talk about past child abuse, graphic violence and drugging) 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who wanted a sequel to this! This is for you!

It had been nearly a year since Poe Dameron had last been seen by Finn and Rey during a chance encounter on Yavin 4, though the concept of time seemed to elude the pilot on his worst days. Some days felt like they lasted only minutes; restless nights sometimes felt like weeks. He never slept as well planetside as he did in his ship, but having Hux next to him keeping him warm tended to lull him into the darkness more often than not. 

Sometimes he dreamed of an older woman; a motherly figure with kind, dark eyes and a voice that could command an army. Other times there was a round, orange and white droid that would roll alongside him; in those dreams he wore an orange flightsuit, colour coordinated with the happy droid. He would fly; in what, he couldn't see, but he knew the exhilaration of flying even in his unconscious mind. That dream morphed into a nightmare every time though - one of smoke, thick and choking, crushing pain and panic. 

He would wake, bolt upright in bed and panting. Sometimes he would stay awake for hours afterward, trying to keep the memory of the dream alive and decipher what it meant. Eventually though, it would fade, and Hux's thin arm would slip around his waist. He would ease himself back on the pillows, blankets tucked high, willing himself back into sleep. 

Hux always woke first in the mornings when they were planet side; he knew Poe wrestled with the spectres of his past and there had been no way that he had found to keep him from having dreams that featured time in his Resistance days. He had used his fair share of sleeping aids when he was with the First Order but hadn't needed them since, and he doubted it would stop the dreaming anyway. The sleep aids never concealed the nightmares from Hux, even during his deepest sleep. 

Poe had managed, somehow, to find another stash of exotic teas on one of the planets they had a drop on, surprising him a month or two into their new careers. He took the teas everywhere, and would often be on his second cup by the time Poe opened his eyes to the world, stretching out on the cheap bed and tangled in the scratchy sheets. 

Hux had given up everything in his life for that damned pilot, and sometimes he sat and took the man in with silence as he slept and Hux had his morning tea. Poe had been a young man of privilege; he'd never known an abusive hand and grew up in a loving home. It surprised Hux that Poe still vividly recalled his mother's appearance, despite having lost her at a young age. He couldn't remember that she was a Rebellion pilot, where he was raised, or what his fathers first name was, but he had retained some information in that beautiful, broken mind. 

Dark eyes appeared over the covers in search of him as Hux crossed the room with his cup of tea in hand. Poe was not an organized person, and Hux always felt like he was picking up after him. A stray sock here, a shirt over there. They hadn't even had sex the night before but Poe's clothes were strewn about the room like they were flung off in the heat of passion. Hux put the clothing on the small table in the room and turned to look at his lover who smiled, olive skin looking brilliant against the stark white of the sheets. 

"We've barely been here twelve hours and you've already made a mess of this place." Hux scolded, earning an eye roll. 

"And you act like a fussy old nanny." Poe smirked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What time is it?" 

"Time to get your ass out of bed. We do have to get to a meeting sometime today about a new job." 

Poe stretched again, the sheets sliding down his toned body and exposing perfect skin. Not a damn mark on him aside from the occasional bruise from Hux's mouth. They were complete opposites in every sense of the word. 

In the quiet mornings like these, Hux remembered the first time he was undressed in front of Poe, more than just his naked self exposed. It was as if Poe had begun to peel back the very layers of his existence to expose his shivering soul. 

_Poe's eyes seemed almost black with desire as he peeled the last bit of clothing from Hux's body, hands sliding up his sides in admiration. The redhead flushed heavily, seeming to bury his face against the crook of the others neck and busying himself with the skin there, leaving a faint bruise behind._

_He still bore the bright scar of the blaster shot that had hit him in the abdomen, but it had healed nicely. They'd avoided being intimate with one another while Hux healed, but they couldn't wait any longer._

_Poe gave pause when his fingers found a rather smooth patch of skin on Hux's back, softer than the rest of him, and Hux's breath hitched, his body tensing under his lovers hands. He moved his fingertips along the smooth patch and found a more rigid patch nearby. All of Hux's muscles seemed to tighten at once, his breathing shallow._

_"Lights, 30%." Poe said softly._

_"No, keep the lights off!" Hux exclaimed quickly, grabbing for his shirt as the dim light lit up the room._

_Poe smiled gently at the other, reaching for the shirt he clutched to himself. "Armitage. It's okay..." he said slowly._

_Hux shook his head a little, sitting down on the edge of the bed and seeming to curl into himself, making him appear so much smaller than he was._

_"You don't have anything to be embarrassed about. I love you." Poe reassured him, and Hux sighed deeply._

_He hesitantly let Poe take the shirt in his hands, his arms curling around himself to hide the small scar that had been left behind some weeks ago from the skirmish with the two rebels._

_"So you have some scars. I think that's hot." Poe grinned, but Hux bristled when he approached again._

_"You've not seen all of them." He said slowly, his face still hot with shame._

_Very few had seen him like this, and those that had were not lovers. Most were droids that had delivered his fresh uniforms in the morning, and they had no comprehension of what they were seeing. Hux preferred that, able to disassociate completely. But he couldn't do that with Poe._

_He sighed and turned so Poe could see his back, marred with pink and white scars. Some criss-crossed; some licked the small of his back and disappeared under the swell of his ass. Hux could feel the tears of utter shame brimming under his eyelids as Poe's hands slid gently down his back. The graze of his fingertips was too gentle, and that seemed to hurt the redhead more, as if it was easier to accept an abusive touch than a soft one._

_"What..."_

_"I'm not talking about it." He snapped, turning suddenly and backing himself up on the bed._

_Poe could see other marks on him now that he hadn't ever noticed before; on his thighs and the barely there marks on his wrists and elbows. He swallowed thickly, climbing up on the bed with his lover and laying next to him. He didn't touch him, not yet._

_"You're beautiful in my eyes, you know that, right?"_

_Hux huffed and rolled onto his side, baring all of the marks now. Poe felt sick. Not from looking at him, of course, but because someone had done this to him. Cut or lashed him so deeply he would live with the scars forever and it made his stomach tighten in disgust and anger. No one deserved this kind of abuse._

_"I'm not talking about this." He repeated, "Leave me be. Please."_

_The 'please' was a meager, sad sounding request and Poe wanted to cry. Scream. Demand he know who did this to Hux and why. But he didn't. Instead he settled down beside his lover and closed his eyes, knowing that when Hux wanted to talk about it, he would be there to listen._

"Yes, nanny." Poe's taunting voice brought him back to the moment and Hux's eyes narrowed slightly. 

He reached for the sheets and tore them off Poe's body, tossing his clothing at him as Poe laughed. 

"Get your pants on, Dameron. No one is going to take us seriously." He chastised, unable to stop the smile from gracing his lips. 

It felt good to smile. Maybe Poe was right. Maybe he was better without the burden of the First Order. Away from the darkness that reminded him everyday that he wasn't good enough; that he was an unwanted and unloved bastard. But here, with just the two of them, there was nothing but happiness.


	2. Striking A Deal

Poe and Hux had joked about becoming smugglers when they first decided they would desert the First Order, but when Poe found a merchant willing to trade the TIE fighter they had been using for a beat up VCX-100 light freighter, he didn't hesitate. 

The ship wasn't in the best condition when they got it, but with Poe's expert knowledge, he managed to get everything they needed working again, splitting his time between working on their ship and freelancing on the side. Hux worked on repairing what he knew; made sure they had some well hidden cargo spaces, that their provisions were stocked and paperwork was in order. If he didn't keep himself busy he would let the crushing weight of his newfound anxiety get to him. 

Some nights he wondered what the hell he had gotten himself into, but then Poe would pull him close and kiss him in a way that made his toes curl and the worry seemed to slip away. His life of regiment and relative predictability had been left behind with his pressed uniforms and private quarters. Now he was unshaven, the scruff of a ginger beard always on his jaw, and Poe had loved it - begged him not to shave when it came in. His hair was no longer stuck down to his head in uniform perfection. Pieces stuck up here and there and the wind would play through it like curious fingers. The dark circles under his eyes were almost gone and he never used a sleep aid. He supposed Poe was his new stim, wearing him out enough to get a good, restful nights sleep. 

That and Hux wasn't waking up in the middle of his sleep cycle to wonder about who was screwing what up on the bride when he wasn't there. 

His usual suspect was Supreme Leader Ren. 

Poe looked much better in casual clothing than Hux did; after wearing uniforms for the bulk of his life it was hard to get used to anything different. The linen shirts that Poe favored had also found their way into Hux's heart, though, revered by the former General for how cool it kept him under too-hot suns. He wore pants that were infinitely more comfortable than his uniform breeches and had picked up some all weather boots that didn't constantly squeeze his calves. Poe said he loved Hux's new look and had even surprised him one night with a black leather jacket to keep Hux warm. He thought he looked ridiculous in it, but he accepted the gift anyway. 

When Poe was finally ready to go, the pair headed out to the local cantina not too far from where they were staying. Hux was always nervous before going to a meeting with someone who was looking to hire them, always concerned it would be a trap laid by the First Order to get the pair of them back, or killed. Still, his years as a military strategist and expert orator came in handy, as well as his general distrust for anyone but himself and Poe. 

Green eyes scanned the darkened corners of the cantina when they stepped in, and almost immediately, a man with two armoured guards stuck out. The man gave the pair a nod and Hux's hands tended slightly at his sides. 

"Oh, kriff." Hux muttered, and Poe cocked an eyebrow in his direction. 

"What? What's wrong?" 

"Guavian Death Gang." He said lowly, "Just let me do the talking." 

"Why? Is this bad?"

"No. Just let me deal with it." 

They made their way over and the man between the guards stood, extending his hand. 

"You must be Red. Guess the name is accurate. Makes you a might easier ta find in a crowd. Red hair, red beard, the whole look." He mused, his voice thick with an unusual brogue, a smile on his thin lips. 

Hux took the man's hand and gave it a firm squeeze. 

"Bala-Tik, this is Davith, my pilot." He said, gesturing to Poe. 

_Red_. And he thought Armitage was bad enough but no, being called Red was even worse than any name his parents could have thought up. Poe had roared with laughter when he first blurted it out as they came up with their names; few knew them outside of their respective alliances, but their names had greater reach. Going by Armitage Hux was a death sentence for him, at the very least. 

He still hated being Red, though. 

He invited them both to sit, the guards moving slightly so they could get into the booth across from the other man. Poe loved how Hux changed his accent when they were among those like Bala-Tik. He had explained that he didn't want anyone to think he had ever been a First Order officer based on his clipped accent, and instead elongated his vowels. The lilt was more gentle than how Hux usually spoke, and Poe was sure he had a lost, dreamy look on his face when he listened to him. It was even more beautiful than Poe could have imagined, listening to the man he loved slipping into a different character of himself with ease. 

"Are you familiar with Wild Space, Davith?" Bala-Tik asked, turning his attention from Hux to Poe. 

"About as familiar as a pilot can be." He said easily. 

"I need you to go to Bakura and haul Namara Liquor and sweets to Naboo. Pay is 75,000 credits." 

Hux rolled his eyes. "125,000 credits with 50,000 up front and you've got a deal." 

Bala-Tik stared Hux down for moment, then reached into his pocket. Both Hux and Poe's hands moved to their blasters, and the guards tightened their grips on their own weapons. Instead of producing a gun, though, Bala-Tik tossed three wrapped sweets on the table and took one for himself, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. 

"You drive a hard bargain, Red." He said, sucking on the sweet in his mouth before pulling out his datapad. "50,000 credits. And some Namara sweets for you two. The remaining when you make the drop on Naboo to my contact Yavessk." 

Hux picked up the sweet in his hand, inspecting it for a moment before popping it into his mouth. Poe followed suit and was surprised at how wonderful it tasted, like a combination of the sweetest fruits he had ever tried, and something almost flowery. It was incredible. 

Hux checked his datapad for the credits as he pushed the hard candy around with his tongue, chasing the wonderful flavor. When the credits showed up he stood and shook Bala-Tik's hand, promising a quick turnaround of the goods. 

"More work innit for ya if you deliver. I've had my share of... problem smugglers."

The two guards exchanged a glance and ones shoulders seemed to shake a little with what Hux figured was a lie.

"Unlike most smugglers, we don't taste the cargo." Hux said with a roll of his eyes, standing to make his way out of the booth. 

The guards moved to let them pass, and they were on their way back to their rented room. 

"This candy is incredible." Poe exclaimed, crunching the remaining hard candy in his mouth and swallowing it. 

"Don't get used to it." Hux warned, "It produces a euphoric feeling that can be addictive." 

The First Order could use these by the kilos, he thought with an amused shake of his head. Maybe the work would improve and people wouldn't make such idiot mistakes. 

"So who were those guys? What was up with the guards?" 

Hux sighed. "Bala-Tik and the Guavian Death Gang. Not exactly who I prefer to be dealing with, but at least they're not Hutts. The guards are cybernetic soldiers - they were given cybernetic enhancements like a second heart that pumps them full of chemicals. They're basically berserkers. Fast and full of aggression." 

He swallowed the last bit of candy in his mouth and glanced to Poe, giving him a small smile. Alright, maybe one of these candies every once in a while wasn't so bad. He felt great, and he was sure it wasn't just because of the Namara, or the amount of credits they had in their account now. Maybe it was because of his company. Either way, he didn't seem as concerned about dealing with Bala-Tik as he should have. 

The moment the door to their room shut behind them, he backed Poe up against it, kissing and nipping at his neck and jaw, eliciting a low moan from the pilot. He took Poe's hands in his own and pinned them over his head, holding them in place with one of his hands. 

"We've got a couple more hours before we have to leave." Hux said against Poe's skin, teeth grazing gently. 

"Lets make the best of it, then." He said with a breathy smirk. 

Hux gave a bite to the juncture of Poe's neck and shoulder. "I should've just let you keep your pants off..." 

Poe's chuckle melted into another moan as Hux pressed the heel of his hand against the front of his pants. A couple hours would _probably_ be enough time.


	3. Nightmares

Everything felt hazy around him, darkness fading to a light grey as that little orange droid rolled up and whistled at him happily. He tried to make out his surroundings but he couldn't; it was just him and the droid in this light grey void of a space. He wasn't scared though; in fact, he was elated, a smile on his face. 

"BB-8 my buddy! It's so good to see you!" He exclaimed, dropping to his knees and greeting the droid with a couple rubs on the droids round belly, causing it to shift slightly back and forth in front of him in its own excitement. 

The grey haze shifted a little, swirling around him like murky water. He stood back up again as he heard his name echo from somewhere within the blackness. He squinted as if that would improve his vision, but he saw nothing. 

"Poe? Poe Dameron? You're alive?" The voice asked. 

Poe reached out into the darkness and it seemed to wrap itself around him, like a creatures tendrils winding itself around his body. He looked at his hands, puzzled, and then the tendrils pulled tight, squeezing painfully. Suddenly, he was back on a Star destroyer, but he was strapped to a chair and surrounded by stormtroopers. Kylo Ren stood in front of him. 

"Where is the map to Skywalker?" He asked. 

Poe tried to fight, tried to struggle but he felt those tendrils gripping him again, squeezing tighter and tighter the more he struggled. He tried to scream but no sound came out. He tried to move but his body felt like his bones were filled with cement. He struggled to breathe, body thrashing in its place. 

"Where is it?" Ren asked again, his patience clearly beginning to run short with Poe. 

He fought against the tendrils, trying to resist looking at the man in front of him. He could feel eyes under that mask burning through him and it made his whole body shudder. 

"The Resistance will not be intimidated by you." He finally said through grit teeth, shocked to hear his own voice. It echoed throughout his head as he was thrown back into the darkness, Ren disappearing into the black void. He could still feel him there though, the burning presence - the crushing, weighted anxiety on his chest making it hard for him to breathe. 

Poe's body shocked itself awake and he sat upright in bed, heart hammering hard in his chest. He was tangled in the sheets and sweating profusely, chest heaving with every breath. He could feel himself shaking and he wasn't sure if it was because he had somehow starved himself of oxygen while he dreamed or something else. His eyes were glossy, searching the room frantically for his lover. 

"Hux," He cried out desperately, "Armitage!" 

Hux appeared in the bathroom doorway, hair damp and shirtless, his brow creased with concern. He crossed the room as swiftly as his legs would carry him and sat on the edge of the bed, Poe immediately clinging to him. He frowned, beginning to thread his fingers through those dark curls, trying to get him to relax. He could feel Poe's body trembling against his own, but he knew from the clamminess of his skin that it wasn't from being cold. 

"Another nightmare?" He asked softly, guilt stabbing him between his ribs at Poe's appearance. 

Poe nodded against him. "I felt like I couldn't breathe. The Supreme Leader was there asking about... Sky... Skywalker? A map to Skywalker? But he was interrogating me and it felt so real... the pain..." 

Hux stiffened a little, but continued to try and calm Poe. He hummed lowly, fingers sliding from his hair to his right temple where he idly drew a figure eight. The barely-there pressure made Poe's eyelids flutter a little, but he knew no amount of calming techniques Hux usually used were going to work. 

"Do the thing." He said softly, "The sequencing thing." 

Poe didn't know how it worked, or why - just that it did. When his nightmares were severe enough to make him feel his amount of anxiety, sometimes going as far to make him physically ill - Hux would just say a series of words and everything would be alright. He didn't question it. He just knew he needed it. 

Hux sighed, closing his own eyes for a minute. "Just breathe. Calm your mind... breathe deeply. 13. Binary. 26. Blast. 31. Shutter. 42. Portal." 

Poe's body sagged in Hux's arms, the tension immediately fading away. Hux continued his gentle touches, contemplating Poe and his beautiful vulnerability as he traced the man's jaw. Poe laid over his lovers lap for several minutes before sitting up again, that bewildered look in his deep brown eyes. Hux gave a small smile and kissed him gently, Poe cupping his face and smiling against his lips. 

"Are you feeling better?" He asked when the kiss broke, and Poe nodded. He didn't really remember what had happened, though he knew he had things that Hux called 'episodes'. He didn't question it; he just appreciated it every time he opened his eyes and Hux was there, protecting him. 

"I'm sorry I'm like this." Poe said after a couple minutes of silence, the admission causing Hux's brow to crease in question. 

"Like what? You're perfect to me." 

"The episodes. You know what I mean." 

Hux waved his hand dismissively. "I don't care about that. It's something that happens... it isn't any fault of yours." 

Poe shrugged. "Maybe not but I can still feel bad about it." 

"You shouldn't. There's no reason to feel that way." Hux reassured him. "Come on, let's get dressed, we should probably be on our way." 

Poe nodded, leaning up to press another kiss to Hux's lips before untangling himself from the sheets. He dressed, sparing a glance to Hux as he looked over his datapad, taking him in. Poe was damaged goods, but when he found out about what Hux's past had been like, he still counted himself lucky despite the episodes. Those he could deal with, as long as he had Hux at his side.


	4. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Spoilers for the novel "Phasma" by Delilah S. Dawson. 
> 
> TW: For mentions of past child abuse.

Poe took care of fuelling the ship for the trip to wild space while Hux packed what belongings they had with them away in the storage compartments. He had only been to wild space once before, when they went on a rescue mission to save his damned father. It was the first time he had ever met Phasma, the woman who would become the only person in his life he could trust with anything. They were young, then, Phasma had no one and she was drawn to Hux immediately. They had been friends ever since, a fierce loyalty between them, unwilling to let anything or anyone get in their way. 

The thought of his father made his very bones ache, his brain reminding him of the cruel man and his ruthless tactics. He had once feared that he would become his father, but the First Order expected that of him. Armitage Hux, son of the brilliant strategist Brendol Hux. 

He hated it. 

He joined Poe in the cockpit as he plot the course and took to the sky, forever the natural when it came to being a pilot. He truly could fly anything. Hux could feel his stomach twist a little as they started their journey, and couldn't resist the allure of the Corellian brandy he had picked up several weeks prior. Thinking of his father made him want to chase the ugly memories away. Memories of pain, of weakness, and of not being good enough to love. Rarely did he ever succumb to the allure of alcohol to forget, as his job required a clear mind at all times, but now he had the chance to let it all go. 

He returned with a glass half full of the dark amber liquid, sitting back down with a heavy sigh. Poe glanced over to him, eyed the liquor, and smiled a little. 

"Oh great, a drunken copilot." He teased as Hux took a drink, letting the alcohol burn its way to his belly, warming him from the inside. 

"I just need something to ease my mind a bit." He said, taking another sip. "Wild space isn't exactly a place where people desire to go." 

"Armitage Hux... nervous? I didn't think that was an emotion you possessed." 

Hux rolled his eyes, "I'm not nervous." 

"Then why do you need to ease your mind?" 

Hux thought for a moment, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. He brought the glass up to his lips again and took a long drink, draining the rest of the glass before setting it aside. 

"I haven't been to wild space since I was young." He started with a sigh, "Parnassos, about fifteen years ago, now. I had thought my father had died in a crash, but he managed to get a transmission from his ship back to the First Order fleet for a rescue. That week I thought he was dead was the best kriffing week of my life." 

Poe frowned a little as Hux got up to fill his glass again, taking another long drink. He sat back down, a little more heavily this time. He couldn't imagine having hatred for his father; he knew he had one, and although he couldn't recall any specific memories, Poe knew he had a good childhood. He couldn't fathom a world where he wished a parent to be dead. 

"When we landed on that damned planet and he strode on the transport... I wanted to kill him myself. But he brought Phasma with him - " He smiled some at the memory, "She was the best thing that ever happened to me in the First Order. The first friend I ever had that didn't want anything in return like in the Academy. She was different, and I confided in her. Then there was you." 

Poe smiled, but it was a sad one. "You know you can tell me anything." He said softly, not wanting to push any of Hux's buttons. He often got angry when his past came up. 

This time though, Hux's tongue had been loosened considerably with the brandy. He took another sip, feeling his head begin to spin a little. 

"What happened to your father?" Poe asked finally, his grip tightening slightly on the control yokes, expecting a snap or snarl from his lover. 

"He died a terrible death a year after we brought him back from Parnassos." He said with a shrug, "Couldn't have happened to a better man." 

Poe wanted to apologize, but they both knew Hux was far better off without his father in his life. 

"He beat me like a dog on the best of days." He muttered, "You know, a year ago when you had to go to reconditioning and said I hadn't experienced it and I said I had it worse... reconditioning used to be starvation. Sleep deprivation. Beatings. Imagine being twelve and cuffed by your wrists to the floor... I didn't eat for three days. While I was in isolation once I tried to get out of the cuffs. I screamed and yelled until I was hoarse. I was so tired... exhausted. I felt like I was going mad and I was sure they had left me there to die. I had broken the skin on my wrists and knuckles open trying to get the cuffs off but by the third day I could barely even hold my head up. Two men came in... one stripped me, the other had a confessors whip in his hand. Do you know what that is?" 

Poe stared straight ahead, blinking back the burn of tears already threatening to fall. He shook his head solemnly. 

"It was a whip with a serrated barb ending. So when they lashed you, it would cut deeply into your skin. I was only beaten with it two or three times, if I remember correctly. They used to let you deal with the pain for several hours before letting a medic in with bacta salve. They wanted you to have to live with your scars from disobedience to remind you of your mistakes. Once, my father came to oversee my punishment. I cried for him. You know what he did, Poe? He kicked me in my ribs until I was spitting up blood. I grabbed at his boot and he crushed my fingers under it. Ground them into the floor until the skin broke open and I screamed. Said, 'you're nothing to me but a bastard boy. Should've let you die on Arkanis with your mother'." 

Hux was shaking now, the brandy not enough to keep the tremors away. A broken sob broke the thick silence within the cockpit and Hux's body seemed to jolt in response to the sound. It was only when he looked at Poe that he realized he had made the noise. Tears tracked down his pale skin, eyes morose and glistening. His eyes were a brilliant green, but Poe's heart hurt too much for his lover to notice how beautiful they were even when they were filled with tears. 

"Oh, kriff, Poe -- what have I done with my life?" He asked desperately. "I told myself I would never be like him, but I'm worse. I'm worse! I'm a monster..." 

Hux drew his knees up to himself, making him look smaller than he was. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rest his forehead against his knees. How long had it been since he cried? Years; maybe more. He felt both cathartic and nauseated.

"You're not a monster." Poe frowned, setting the freighter to auto pilot for a moment and letting go of the control yokes. 

"Poe, because of me... the Hosnian System doesn't exist. The First Order created Starkiller... do you remember that? With the press of several buttons and the throw of a switch, billions of lives were ended. Gone. Just like that."

Poe bit his bottom lip and got up, slipping behind Hux and beginning to rub his shoulders. His stomach seemed to tighten a little at the thought of the thing called Starkiller, but he wasn't sure if it was with familiarity or disgust. A weapon that could wipe out billions? He was sure if something that terrible existed he would have remembered it... 

"That's war. You can't be held singularly responsible for every death in something like this." He said finally, tipping Hux's head forward so he could massage at the back of his neck. His skin was flushed and so hot under his touch, likely from the alcohol. 

"That's genocide. And I am responsible." Hux muttered, "All I wanted was power because I didn't know anything else. I never had anything else to strive or work towards other than the goals of the First Order. Then you happened..." 

Poe smiled a little, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of Hux's neck. "Well, love can be stronger than anything, I suppose. People change, Armitage. You never knew these feelings growing up. A gentle touch, fingers through your hair. Love. Comfort. You do now, and I won't let you forget it." 

Hux frowned, "I knew it, once. My mother... she was wonderful. Spoiled me when my father wasn't around. Sang to me and told me stories about heroes in other galaxies. She loved me. She's dead, now, long dead, but if she were alive I'm sure she would've cried for me. Her lost boy." 

Hux slumped in his seat. The guilt still ate at him from the inside, and he knew he deserved every moment of the torturous feeling. He hadn't felt anything but the surge of pride and success when Starkiller was launched, streaking the sky with death. Now though, now was different. He felt different with Poe. Like the man had somehow drained all of that negative energy from him and had given him something beautiful and positive. A reason to run from the First Order. 

His head swam with the liquor and he barely noticed when Poe helped him to his feet and back to their bunk. He helped him in, pulling a blanket up over him and gave him a kiss on his burning forehead. 

"You need to sleep off that brandy and I need to get back to piloting this thing." He said, pushing his fingers through Hux's hair. "I love you." 

Hux pressed his face into the pillow, eyes already closed and body feeling like it was one with the bunk. 

"Love you." He slurred, sleep capturing him in his drunken state and pulling him down deeply. Deeply enough that he didn't think of the choices he had made during his career in the First Order - he didn't think of the billions of lives that had been disrupted by his actions, how he had ordered the assassination of his father, or how he once strove to be the absolute guiding hand of the First Order. Not tonight. Tonight he was just Armitage Hux, with no grand title sewn to the front of his name. Just a smuggler with a dark past.


	5. Control

Hux glanced around at his surroundings. The transparisteel window displayed the skeletal trees swaying in the unrelenting wind of Starkiller Base. The snow whipped around creating white blurs, but inside the base Hux was warm. He was dressed in his General's uniform, a datapad in his hand, though he couldn't read what it was saying. 

The edges of the room seemed strange, like they were alive with some kind of energy, pulsing with grey smudges and black tendrils. It was odd, he thought, but somehow his mind accepted it. 

"Armitage," Came a low and familiar voice. 

Hux's stomach tightened reflexively. "You don't get to call me that." He barked back. 

The edges of the grey black energy gave way to a familiar figure, Kylo Ren stalking forward with his commanding presence. Hux swallowed past the lump in his throat as he took Kylo in, dark eyes watching his every move. Why was he suddenly so scared of this man-child? The one who threw tantrums when he didn't get his way? 

"I've been waiting a very long time for this." 

Suddenly the datapad in his hand had disappeared into thin air. "For what?" He asked, steeling his voice and giving the man a hard glare. 

"For your mind to be malleable enough for me to find you." Ren said easily. "I've been searching for you. I knew you weren't dead. I could feel your presence." 

Hux rolled his eyes, trying to convey his annoyance at Ren's presence. The room seemed to pulse a little more with his mood, and he realized then that he was dreaming. In that time, Ren had crossed the room and suddenly a hand was on his cheek, too gentle for the Knight. The gesture unnerved Hux. 

"Come home, Hux. The First Order needs you." 

"Don't touch me." He snarled. 

Ren didn't falter. "Come home, Hux." He repeated. 

Hux tried to back away but his limbs felt heavy. A gloved thumb swept over his prominent cheekbone and he was sure he could feel Ren's breath on his skin. 

"I will not." He said defiantly, eyes locking with the taller man's. 

"That pilot has quite a hold on you, doesn't he? You were the last person I thought would ever succumb to something as idiotic as this. Running off with someone is one thing - but a man you convinced through brainwashing and manipulation that he was actually one of us? You're pathetic." 

The gloved hand drew away and slipped upwards, into Hux's hair and twisting so hard that he gasped in pain. Everything felt too real. He tried to remind himself that this was just a dream - a dream that felt all too real. Ren pulled harder and Hux found himself trying to sink away from the pain, onto one knee in front of the Supreme Leader. Hux refused to take a knee in front of Ren, and somehow he had come to expect it. 

"This is where you belong." He said, the scenery around them changing suddenly to an immaculate throne room. 

Hux was still on his knee, but nothing held him there any longer. He slid easily to his feet again, a hand going up obsessively to fix his hair as he watched the Knight. Instead of sitting on the throne, Ren stood next to it, gesturing to the open chair. 

"You belong here. Controlling every facet of the First Order. Every militaristic move. Every troop. Every breath of this entire organization." 

Hux blinked and suddenly he was on the throne, surrounded by guards and with Ren at his side. He was dressed in all white with gold epaulets, a flowing cape lined with red attached to his shoulders. Hux's breath caught in his throat. 

"What do you prefer? Supreme Leader? Emperor?" Ren asked, his gaze set straight as the throne room seemed to stretch out for miles, leaving that grey-black pulsing at its edges. 

Hux stood, ripping the cape from his shoulders and throwing it to the ground. 

"I prefer my freedom." He snarled, and this time it was Ren who rolled his eyes. 

"Freedom? You _had_ freedom here. You commanded as you saw fit. You drank in that power, thrived on it! And you want it even now, the galaxy bowing before you, willing to be molded by your hand. You want total control."

"I want you to be muzzled like the wild animal you are." Hux seethed, "You'll not seduce me back with the promise of power." 

Ren's eyes snapped up to focus on him, a predatory grin spreading across his features at the 'animal' comment. 

"But I would be your wild animal, to be released on the battlefield to slay your enemies. Make them beg for your forgiveness. Striking them down on your command, bringing all of our enemies to their knees." Ren slipped onto the throne sitting sideways, "I grow bored. In your absence I've come to realize how much I've truly lost. An intellect who knows this war better than anyone else. A military strategist who can bring an end to the conflict. I want you back, Armitage. The First Order needs you. Don't make me rip this galaxy apart looking for you." 

Ren was up from the throne then, closing the space in between them and pressing uncomfortably close to Hux. He grabbed him by the jaw and their eyes locked again, Hux's jaw setting as he bared his teeth in defiance. 

"You are one of the strongest minds I have ever felt. You can resist, even though you aren't Force sensitive. You're a peculiar beast, Armitage. A beaten down, injured animal waiting for its chance at vengeance. Come back to me and I will give you all of this. All the power you crave." 

Hux felt a pull from somewhere deep in his mind, like Ren was plucking invisible strings. He noticed the heat of tension between them and how his own shoulders trembled as he tried to resist. Ren knew what cards to play, and he had probably picked through Hux's brain before to see the deep seated desire of sitting on a throne that ruled the Galaxy. 

"Come back and you can keep your pilot. Make us hunt you and I'll see to it that you watch as I eviscerate him in front of the entire First Order at your inauguration ceremony. Choose wisely." 

"No!" Hux screamed, jolting himself out of sleep. He was splayed in the bunk, arms and legs twisted in the sheets. His head throbbed mercilessly and he was sweating profusely. 

"Seems like I'm not the only one with nightmares." Poe mused as he took in his rattled lover, two thermal cups in his hand. 

Hux was still trying to catch his breath as he shed the blanket that clung to him, climbing out of the bunk on shaking limbs. His head felt like it wanted to split open to release the pressure inside. 

_It was just a dream_ , he told himself. _Ren isn't that powerful._

He took his tea from Poe's hand and drank deeply from it, hoping it would calm his nerves. 

It didn't. 

"Want to talk about it?" Poe offered, settling a hand on Hux's shoulder and giving a comforting squeeze. 

"I don't remember it." He said quickly, "Are we on Bakura?" 

Poe nodded, "Yeah, landed a little bit ago and already loaded the cargo. You had a lot to drink last night so I figured I would let you sleep it off." 

Hux let out a breath and nodded, feeling the shaking in his legs start to subside. His head still throbbed though; from the liquor or from the dream he wasn't quite sure. 

"You should have woken me." 

"If I knew you were having a nightmare I would have." Poe said honestly, leaning in and stealing a kiss from Hux's lips. 

Hux barely kissed back, still haunted by what had happened in his dream. What if it was all a rouse to bring Hux back and have him executed? But what if he meant it; what if Ren wanted to give him full control, and he could make changes for the better? 

"You need to get some sleep before we head to Naboo." Hux said, "I'll finish the paperwork."

Poe knew better than to argue; it was odd to see Hux in such a shaken state from the nightmares. He was exhausted, anyway, and was sure he would have his own restless sleep within the confines of his own tormented mind.


	6. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Here be smut! I've only written smut twice now so hopefully it is alright! <3

As Poe slept, Hux wandered Bakura. They had landed in Prytis, a portion of the region that was high in namara plants. The air was thick but not uncomfortably so; rain clouds slowly moved over a mountain peak in the distance, threatening to disrupt his walk and send him back to the ship. 

Overlooking a low valley, Hux found a large tree, sinking down the smooth trunk to sit amongst the tangle of roots on the ground, letting out a long breath. Eyes scanned the storm rolling in and the lightning that lit up the horizon in the distance. They were going to have to wait for the storm to pass; Hux didn't trust that the sensors of the ship would make it through unscathed. 

Hux closed his eyes and rest his head back against the tree, picturing himself in that white uniform he had worn in his dream. A white tunic accessorized with golden epaulets, a golden chain draped over his chest that held a billowing cape on his shoulders. White outside, trimmed in gold, and blood red on the inside. He wore his black gloves and breeches, his boots ending just below his knees. He could almost feel the squeeze of the leather tight around his calves. He imagined his hair coiffed perfectly, his beard gone and face clean shaven, golden laurels adorning his head in celebration of a martial victory. 

The First Order conquering the galaxy. 

The thought was intoxicating. And Ren as his attack dog - moving on his command and not a moment before. The right hand of the Emperor, moving with such power and force to cut down the First Order's enemies. Ren was a hound, a dog looking for an owner. He had been a stray too long. 

Eyes still closed, a thin smile crept onto Hux's lips. The storm clouds moved in closer, and a clap of thunder brought him out of his thoughts. His pupils were blown wide with the thought of absolute power, but part of him still considered his options. What else was there than a life of a smuggler? 

Poe could join him. Stay at his side. Hux didn't dare clip Poe's wings, either, as he knew he wouldn't fly away. Not forever. He truly loved the rebel, and he would do anything to keep him. 

The thunder roared again, closer this time. He stood, and as he started the walk back to the ship, he felt the first big droplets of rain hit him. The skies opened up above him then, and by the time he walked up the ships ramp, his clothing was soaked through and he was shivering uncontrollably. 

Poe went from a sleepy haze to jumping out of the bunk, taking in the sopping mess in front of him. He could feel the cold radiating off of Hux and he frowned, pushing him towards the small refresher. 

"You're going to catch cold if we don't warm you up," he told Hux, stripping his lover of the wet clothing and tossing it all in a heap in the corner. 

Hux just nodded, still trembling. His skin was paper white, but despite how cold he felt to the touch, his fingers and lips weren't tinged with blue. That made Poe relax slightly. He reached into the shower and turned the water on, making sure it wasn't too hot before helping Hux in. 

"Don't come out until you're warmed up." He instructed, "I'll refill the tanks in the morning when the storm passes." 

Hux practically melted under the hot water, slowly beginning to warm up his body. He held his arms close to his chest until he finally felt warm enough to move, and decided to wash up while he was in there. 

Once he was towelled off and dressed, he found Poe in the cockpit, sitting back and watching the storm rage outside. He had a cup of caf in hand to chase away the chill in the ship and couldn't help but let his eyes linger on Hux as he wandered over. 

Hux was barefoot, his hair messy and cheeks rosy again. He wore a white tee shirt that was slightly too big and a pair of linen lounge pants the colour of sand. There was just something about him in this state that made Poe weak. He put down his caf and stood, pushing Hux to sit down instead. He straddled his hips once he was seated and kissed him deeply, Hux's hands moving to grab at the pilots ass. 

Hux closed his eyes as Poe's lips moved from his own to his neck, just under his jaw where he nuzzled against his beard. He imagined himself in that throne room again and his body suddenly thrummed with excitement, feeling like he was intoxicated again just at the thought. He imagined Poe there too, as he was now, straddling him and showering him with affection. Hux's head tipped back and he moaned. 

"Someone is a little starved for attention." Poe mused against Hux's skin, giving a sharp nip and relishing in how it made Hux's hips come up off the chair a little. 

"Starved for you. I want you. Just like this." He said, undoing the buttons of Poe's shirt and pushing it off his shoulders, revealing the toned, dark olive skin underneath. 

Hux's fingertips slid over Poe's stomach as if committing it all to memory. Poe loved it. He was in the best shape of his life and he liked to show off for his lover. While Hux had his tea in the mornings, he was working out, sculpting the muscles that Hux's fingers now traced with his right hand. 

His left hand still on Poe's firm ass, Hux leaned in and teased his left nipple with his tongue. Poe's head fell back in a moan of appreciation, one hand moving to his belt to undo it. The cockpit was suddenly too hot for any clothing, despite the freezing cold rainstorm that raged outside and pelted the freighter mercilessly. 

Poe's eyes were almost as black as the skies outside as he shucked off the rest of his clothing less than gracefully. Hux rolled his eyes and rid himself of his shirt and lounge pants. He put his hands behind his head to prevent touching himself; he wanted to make this last. 

"Don't forget the lube." He reminded Poe as he tossed his pants aside, finally undressed. 

Poe huffed but it was a necessity, so he disappeared for a moment. Hux's eyes flicked upwards to watch the storm, the rain coming down so hard it made it almost impossible to see through the glass. He appreciated the storm now that he was no longer in it, miserable and soaked to the bone. 

When Poe came back, Hux pulled him onto his lap again, kissing him deeply until his lungs screamed in need. He pulled back for a breath and immediately Poe went to his exposed throat, shamelessly sucking a mark onto Hux's porcelain skin. 

Hux reached around Poe, uncapping the lubricant the other brought him and slicked two fingers. Those slick digits slid down until one pressed against Poe's body, easing its way into the tight heat. Poe moaned against Hux's skin, moving one hand between them to wrap around both of their cocks, the friction bringing a hiss to Hux's lips. He grabbed Poe's arm with his free hand, eyes meeting his; 

"Slowly." He said, and Hux's order went straight to Poe's groin. 

He nodded without a word and slowed his hand, even though Hux could tell he wanted more by the way he pushed back against his hand. He brought Poe up for another kiss as he slid a second finger inside of him, taking his time to work Poe's already willing body open. Poe hummed against Hux's lips, opening his mouth and letting the others tongue in. 

Finally, Poe broke the kiss, his eyes pleading as much as his hips. "Armitage, please... you're killing me here." 

Hux gave a small smile and withdrew his fingers, Poe letting out a desperate whimper at the loss. He grabbed the lube and slicked himself up before wiping his hand on his tee shirt. He helped Poe get a little more comfortable, bracing his hands on the other man's hips. 

"Slowly, Dameron." He instructed, green eyes dark with desire. 

Poe grabbed the other man's cock and eased himself down, his mouth open slightly and his head back as he tried to go as slowly as Hux had requested. After what felt like forever, their hips were pressed firmly together and Poe had reached for the back of the chair, white knuckled already. 

As he began to lift himself up again and start a rhythm, Hux's hips snapped forward, causing him to gasp and curse loudly. He loved pulling noises like that from his lover, but he also liked to make Poe work for it, so his hips stilled and allowed him to do the work. 

Hux was enthralled with the view; Poe's stunning body lit by the cracks of lightning that streaked across the sky. He was sweating, beads of perspiration gathering at his hairline. His eyes were closed and his mouth was still slack as he rode his lover, eliciting moans from deep within Hux. 

Poe was the center of Hux's universe; a brilliant, beautiful thing in the middle of so much darkness. 

Hux finally couldn't take it anymore, his hips coming up to meet Poe's and leaving him crying out Hux's name. Poe shifted position slightly, leaning backwards now onto the console for better leverage, the sound of skin slapping against skin increasing as Hux's pace became more needy. 

"Look how perfect you are," Hux breathed, hands sliding down Poe's body from chest to lower abdomen where his cock cried for attention. "How did I get so kriffing lucky? To have such a gorgeous man like you riding my dick like a hired whore." 

Poe's moan echoed through the ship, "Armitage... damn, I like when you talk like that." He said breathily. 

Hux smirked, his fingers digging in to Poe's hips, pulling him onto his lap as his hips moved up. Every thrust hit that tiny bundle of nerves inside Poe and he saw sparks of white behind his closed eyes, fingers seeking purchase on the console desperately. 

"What, you like me calling you a hired whore?" He asked, his vowels becoming more drawn out for a moment, "My stunning Yavinese boy with the perfect mouth for my cock and an ass that was _made_ for this."

Poe moaned even louder. "Touch me, 'Tage, please..." He begged. 

Hux grasped Poe's weeping cock in his hand, giving a rough squeeze. "You aren't to come until I give you permission." 

Poe whined, his movements becoming slightly sloppy as he teetered on the edge of orgasm already. 

"That's not fair..." 

"I'm in charge, you'll come when I say you do and not a moment before." 

A shiver of desire slid up Poe's spine and he pushed his hips down so hard he got some pain mixed with his pleasure. He was going to be sore in the morning. 

Hux closed his eyes for a moment, imagining this exact scene playing out in the throne room that was in his dreams. There would be the ever-present guards surrounding them but they'd be used to his spectacle by now. Hux would still be fully dressed in his beautiful regalia save for where his pants were undone to free his cock. Poe would be naked because he wanted to appreciate every inch of his lovers stunning body. The best damn pilot in the First Order, and he was in love with the Emperor. 

Hux gasped, opening his eyes to take in his desperate partner, feeling his own orgasm pooling low in his belly. He pumped Poe's cock hard, thumb teasing the tip, making the others thighs shake. His jaw was tense, held taught and focused fully on chasing away his orgasm until Hux said it was alright. 

Hux wrapped his free arm around Poe's back, pulling him close and peppering him with soft kisses across his collarbone. Poe grasped the back of the chair for support, a low whine escaping his lips at the change of position. 

"Come for me." He whispered against sweat-slicked skin, and Poe was more than happy to oblige. 

He cried out as he painted them both, Hux wringing every last drop from him before he found his own release, pulling Poe down fully as he pushed his hips up, crying out the man's name. 

Spent, he held his love with his face pressed to Poe's chest, listening as the heavy hammering of his heart began to slow back to a normal pace. They were both filthy, Hux's cock still buried in Poe's beautiful ass, but he didn't want to move. He didn't trust his legs. Not yet. 

The storm outside continued with all the rage and fury of a Sith, and Hux thought it gorgeous, but it was nothing compared to Poe Dameron. He was in deep - he was crazy about this man. 

"I love you." He whispered, feeling Poe's fingers beginning to card through his hair. "I... I never want to be without you." 

Usually it was Poe muttering sweet nothings afterward, but not this time. His heart swelled in his chest and he pressed even closer to Hux, tilting his head back with a gentle pull of his hair to kiss him deeply. 

"Before you I was nothing. Dead inside. A husk. Now I feel things I never have before, and I don't want it to ever stop." 

Poe smiled. It was the sweetest thing that Hux had ever said. "I love you, Armitage. I would move galaxies for you. You'll never be hurt again. Not on my watch." 

Hux allowed himself to smile, sighing against Poe's chest. He was too good for a weak boy from Arkanis, a slave to the First Order. 

"Come on," he said finally, "Lets get cleaned up and get some sleep."


	7. Wake

Hux woke some time later feeling well rested and glad that he hadn't had any further dreams of Kylo Ren. He still debated whether or not it was actually Ren in his dream, or if his liquor addled mind had found some deep, suppressed memory and drew it to the surface. Beside him Poe still slept, his sleeping mind at ease too. Hux could feel the gentle, even breath of his lover across his shoulder and he glanced to him. 

He didn't leave, even after he told Poe about what he went through, and what he had done. He didn't feel that usual strangled fear and the instantaneous desire to use Poe's activation words to make him forget. No, he allowed Poe to remember, and here he was, tucked against his side like he promised he would be. 

Hux let himself enjoy the quiet for a couple moments more; the rain had stopped sometime throughout the night and now golden morning light streamed through the cockpit and onto the floor, stretching into the common area. 

Finally he nudged Poe with his elbow, who rolled over and threw an arm over him, pulling Hux's body close and giving him a couple soft kisses on the skin he could reach.

"Don't think by being sweet we can lay about all day." Hux said, his voice seemingly much softer in the morning. 

Poe groaned. "You're the one who wore me out." 

"Don't blame me, it takes two, you know." 

"You weren't the one playing the balancing act while a gorgeous redhead called you a whore and pounded your ass." 

Poe finally opened his eyes, a smile on his lips. He gave Hux's shoulder a nip, fingertips running over the bruises he had left recently on the others beautifully pale skin. He laid his head back down for a moment and just enjoyed the closeness that they shared, listening to Hux's heartbeat. 

"You loved all of it." Hux smirked, an arm slipping around him and drinking in the warmth. 

The ship was still cool from last nights rainstorm, and even Hux had to admit he was too comfortable to get out of bed just yet. He felt Poe smirk against his skin and he let his fingers trace abstract patterns on his back. 

"You're right. I absolutely did." 

So this is what being in love was like. 

It was perfect. 

His eyes slipped closed in a peaceful bliss, but his mind quickly wandered back to Ren and his threat. _Make us hunt you and I'll see to it that you watch as I eviscerate him in front of the entire First Order at your inauguration ceremony._

Hux pulled Poe impossibly closer, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of his back a little. 

"I'll never let them hurt you." He said lowly.

Poe lifted his head, confused. "Hm? Let who hurt me? What's wrong 'Tage?" 

Hux opened his eyes and took in the sight before him, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

"Nothing... just... had a bad dream about the First Order." 

Poe nodded some, hand sliding over his lovers chest idly. 

"I should be the one promising you that." He said as he traced a small scar over Hux's collarbone. 

"You don't have to promise me because I know you would." And knowing that made Hux feel like he could stand against the whole damned galaxy as long as Poe was at his side. 

"Come on, let's get showered up. We have to deliver the cargo to Naboo." 

Hux kicked the blankets off their nude bodies and sat up, stretching a little. Poe admired Hux's body as he stood, those impossibly long legs catching his attention. The smattering of freckles on the upper right side of his back by his shoulder was Poe's favourite spot on him, looking like he had a galaxy on his skin. It wasn't marred by the whippings he'd received as a boy and Poe adored it. 

"Hey, 'Tage?" 

"Hm?" 

"You’ve got a great ass... did you know that?" Poe grinned, earning a dramatic eye roll from the redhead. 

"If you don't get up now, I'm showering without you." 

Poe was out of the bunk faster than Hux thought the pilot could even move, making him shake his head and follow into the refresher with a small smile.


	8. Turning Tides

The flight path to Naboo had been set and they were on their way when Hux returned to the cockpit with some caf, sliding into the co-pilots seat and handing one cup to Poe. 

"How long until we arrive?" 

Poe checked the flight status, the stars a blur around them as they cruised into light speed. 

"Couple hours." He said, taking a sip of his caf, "Should have the cargo offloaded by the early afternoon and we can relax with a bottle of the good stuff in a luxury hotel room in Theed." 

Hux nodded, "No Corellian Brandy. I think I've had enough of that for a lifetime." 

Poe chuckled softly, "What about 'Port in a Storm'?"

Hux looked offended just by the name. "That is swill. Not even the troopers want to drink that. I've heard some of the TIE pilots kept it around as emergency solvent." 

Poe howled out a laugh, "Live a little!" 

Hux bristled. "I will not! In fact, I'll live longer not drinking 'Port in a Storm', and so will you. We'll have emerald wine. It is made on Naboo, and it is actually palatable." 

“You know, every pilot drinks Port in a Storm.” Poe said with a matter-of-fact tone. 

“Good thing I’m not a pilot, then.” 

Poe couldn't help another laugh escape his lips, and he was delighted when even Hux let out a small, amused noise. Seeing and hearing Hux laugh was so rare, so he enjoyed the moment while he could. He noticed the subtle changes that Hux made during their year together. He allowed himself to smile and laugh genuinely; not stiffly as he had in the First Order. In fact, he didn't think Hux _ever_ laughed back then. At least, Poe hadn’t been around to see it. 

While Hux still kept his rigid posture, would knock Poe’s boots off the table with a grumble about his lack of manners, and was fussy about having to wear clothing that wasn’t ironed or washed, he was starting to lose the rigidity that came with being in the First Order. No one raised eyebrows at him any longer, and with the beard he looked less like the fearsome former Grand Marshal Hux and more of the smuggler he was trying to be. 

Once on Naboo, Hux met with their contact while Poe oversaw the unloading of the cargo. Yavessk didn't seem like the kind of person who wanted to deal with the likes of Bala-Tik and his hired cronies, so the credits were transferred quickly. Hux didn't mind being looked down upon; he had been for most of his life and this was no different. 

He checked his datapad to make sure the credit transfer went through and returned to Poe in the cargo hold of the ship. 

"Looks like this job is done." He said, waving the datapad in his hand a little. Poe grabbed it from his hand and put it down, drawing his lover close. 

"So time for us to take a break for a bit?" He suggested with a smirk, hands moving behind Hux to grab at his ass. 

"You say that like we work to the bone for cycles straight. We’re not with the First Order any longer." Hux mused, turning and climbing out of the cargo hold, freezing when he heard footsteps in their ship. 

"I mean we don't -- "

"Shh!" Hux slid back down the ladder into the cargo hold, pushing Poe behind him as the steps grew closer. 

Poe looked to Hux with confusion, his body tensing as he grabbed onto Hux's hip. Both pairs of eyes stared up to the opening of the cargo hold as the footsteps crept closer still until the muzzle of an E-11 blaster rifle appeared. Hux's heart leapt into his throat and he moved to grip Poe's hand that had been on his hip. 

"I won't let them take you." He whispered, sure it was the First Order here to claim their former Grand Marshal back. 

A scuffed green and red helmet with a T shaped faceplate appeared following the blaster, the figure taking in the sight of the two in the cargo hold. 

"Get up here. Both of you." He ordered, his accent thick behind the helmet. 

Hux climbed up first under the careful watch of the rifle, and immediately had his side arm taken from him as he held up his hands. He looked to Poe over the other man's shoulder as he climbed up from the hold, receiving the same treatment. His blaster was removed and he was shoved towards Hux, who caught him by his jacket. 

"A Mandalorian? In these parts?" Hux questioned, "I thought you were all wiped out during the Empire's rule and your kind were exiled to Concordia. From what I understand, the warring tribes killed one another off until there was nothing left.”

Hux earned a sharp backhand from the man, sending him reeling into Poe and splitting his lip. He let out a growl low in his throat, eyes narrowing at the man. 

"You're too late. The cargo is gone." Hux said, wiping his bloody lip with the back of his hand. 

"Too late? I've got my cargo." The man said, pointing to Poe. "You. You're coming with me. The redhead will just be extra." 

Poe and Hux looked to one another with uncertainty. 

"Who are you?" Poe asked, eyeing the man in front of them. 

The man sighed behind his helmet. "Names Boba Fett. And before you ask, yeah, I survived the kriffing sarlacc."


	9. The Bounties

Hux's jaw went slack as the bounty hunter slapped the binders around his wrists, then moved to Poe to do the same thing. He had only heard tales; half truths at very best about the infamous Boba Fett. He had allegedly died before Hux was even born, tossed into a sarlacc pit in the middle of the Tatooine desert to rot. But here he was, armor in tact and looking the part as he grabbed each of them by the binders and dragged them from the ship. 

His gait was slightly off, Hux noticed, studying the bounty hunter for any weaknesses he may be able to use as he was pulled down the ramp of their ship. Perhaps this was just an imposter; someone who dreamed of being the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy and tried to take up the mantle. 

How pathetic. 

Hux looked to Poe as they walked, the bounty hunter in front of them, his blaster rifle still in hand. He was trying to formulate a plan when Poe suddenly ran forward, hitting Fett with all the force he had, his shoulder colliding with Fett’s armor, causing him to stumble. Hux reacted too, going for the leg he seemed to favour and sweeping it out from under him. Fett fell to the ground with a loud curse and immediately his captives were off and running, still cuffed. 

Boba was an old man now, but that didn't mean he came unprepared for such a scenario. He had been told that Poe was to be returned alive and well; no freezing, no blasters, _no disintegration_. The Mandalorian swore again and fired a dart from one of his gauntlets at the former Resistance pilot, clipping him in the side. 

Poe's legs immediately felt weak and although Hux grabbed for him, he couldn't keep him up as Poe went deadweight against him, his eyes rolling back into his head before closing. 

"Poe! Poe!" Hux yelled, trying desperately to haul his lover with him as the bounty hunter approached. 

Boba fired his whipcord launcher and snagged Hux's legs, giving a fierce tug and toppling the red haired man who fell easily as he struggled against the weight of trying to carry his cuffed partner. Every step Boba took caused pain to flare up the leg that Hux had kicked, making him even more angry. 

"Kriffing imperial bastard!" Boba swore, kicking Hux in the ribs once he was down. 

Hux curled in on himself instinctively as the boot caught him in the ribs, one kick catching him in the spot where he'd taken that blaster hit a year before. That caused a shout to erupt from Hux's lips, and Boba smirked behind the helmet. He kicked him once more for good measure; there had been no instructions on what to do if Poe was with anyone else, but he was sure someone in the galaxy would pay handsomely for a former First Order officer that had held a place high in command 

With his cargo subdued, he shouldered the pilot, who was barely coherent from the dart strike, and forced Hux to his feet, marching him to his ship. 

“Try anything that stupid again and I’ll see personally to your slow and painful death. I’m the only one authorizing you to live right now.” Boba growled and Hux’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t respond. 

It had taken Fett longer than he cared to admit to get his fathers ship back into his possession, but he would never fly anything else so long as he lived. He’d killed several people to get to it, and several more when the crew wouldn’t release the stolen ship to its rightful owner. Seemed that everyone thought he was dead, and he would have preferred to keep it that way, but the lure of one final job was too hard to resist, even after all these years. 

Fett took the pair to the small cell on the ship, dropping Poe to the floor unceremoniously and pushing Hux in hard, delighting in the way his cuffed hands moved to shield himself in case more blows came. He locked the door and removed his helmet with a sigh. 

Hux stared at the other man, taking in his weathered features. He was easily in his fifties, maybe early sixties by now, and Hux was shocked to see that it did indeed look like the man who claimed to be Boba Fett. So few had heard his voice, and fewer still had seen what he looked like under that Mandalorian armor. He looked like the holos he had seen of the clones when he was younger; same dark skin, thick hair and brilliant golden eyes. Even for his age and what he had probably gone through trying to survive a sarlacc, even Hux had to admit he didn’t look bad for his age. 

Hux wanted to ask Fett who had hired him, but Poe was coming around and instead he paid his attention to him, pulling him into a sitting position. 

"I can't feel my legs," he groaned, rubbing at them with a frown. 

"You'll be fine." Came the voice on the other side of the cell. Boba didn't look up from his datapad as he looked up the coordinates for the drop off point. "Shouldn't have pushed me and I wouldn't have darted you. It’s not a hard concept.” 

“Yeah well being caught by a bounty hunter that supposedly died three decades ago wasn’t exactly on my ‘to-do’ list.” Poe snapped. 

Hux glared at Fett, but helped Poe rest back against the cell wall, pushing his dark hair from his face. Poe reached up to wipe some blood from the corner of Hux's mouth, frowning. 

"Who hired you?" Hux finally asked, unable to contain his curiosities. 

Boba had walked away from the cell and to the cockpit where he started the engines of the ship, plugging in the coordinates. He ignored the question for now as he pulled the ship away from the port. Hux’s brain sifted through the information; he was additional, so whoever sent the bounty hunter only wanted Poe... 

On the other side of the room, a series of whistles and beeps could be heard, drawing the attentions of Fett who was navigating the ship into space. With the advanced hyperdrive core that he had installed recently, they'd be at their destination in only a few hours. 

"Open that cell and I'll put you in permanent shut down." Boba called out to the thing making the noise. 

A droid appeared at the front of the cell, peering in and whirring in delight when it saw Poe. It began to move about excitedly, babbling away in its apparent happiness. 

Poe raised a brow, staring at the round orange and white droid. Hux was surprised to see it; the last time he'd laid eyes on the droid it had shocked several troopers before shutting itself off, leaving any information they may have been able to pry out of it inaccessible. It was on one of the Star destroyers, so if it was here - Hux's eyes went slightly wide.

Kylo had sent the kriffing _bounty hunter_. 

"What's it doing?" Poe asked, and the droid stopped immediately, whistling at Poe and cocking its domed head. 

"Its pissed you don't remember it." Boba said, strolling into the room from the cockpit, having set autopilot and light speed up to their destination. 

Poe looked to Hux, who avoided his lovers eyes. "I don't speak droid." 

Boba shrugged. "It said you do." 

BB-8 rotated its head to look at Boba, chirping away at him. 

"He wants to know where you've been, and why you're with... no, his name is Hux, not Hugs." 

Hux's jaw set at the nickname. Of course the little droid would remember that, of all things. 

"Who hired you?" Hux asked again, trying to divert attentions away from Poe and the droid and to more pressing matters. 

Boba smiled some. "I guess you could say an old acquaintance." 

"A little old, to be a bounty hunter still." Hux sneered. 

Boba bristled, "Careful, _aruetii_. May I remind you that the bounty was for one unharmed Resistance pilot. Not one former Grand Marshal of the First Order. Keep up the attitude and we'll see how much you talk when I pull the teeth from your skull." 

Now it was Poe's turn to bristle, "You'll have to go through me to get him." 

Boba laughed at that, and BB-8 whistled in alarm. 

"I don't know why Organa wants such a broken thing back. But the credits were worth coming out of retirement for." 

Hux stared incredulously. "As in General Leia Organa? Didn't you freeze her lover in carbonite and bring him to Jabba the Hut?"

Boba’s face seemed to change some at that, just slightly though, as if reminiscing. 

"That's how the story goes, kid. Is he really dead? Solo? I always hoped I would be the one to finish that idiot off." 

Hux settled back against the wall, his leg brushing Poe's slightly, trying to show him some comfort without being obvious about it. 

"His son killed him." Hux said matter-of-factly. 

Boba grinned, "I wish I was there for that one. And he always mocked me for my _buir_. Shame, though. Guess that's why Organa pulled me out of retirement. I almost wish her kid hired me to bring you back, instead. I probably would have done it for free for getting rid of Solo." 

BB-8 whistled at the bounty hunter, rolling into the side of his armored leg to get his attention. 

"It wants to know what you did to Dameron." 

Hux huffed, sending a glare in the droids direction. "I didn't _do_ anything. How much is Organa paying you? I'll double it if you let us go at the next spaceport." 

Boba considered the offer, crossing his arms over his chest. "You couldn't afford it. That pilot is going back and you... maybe I'll stick around for your execution, Starkiller. The whole galaxy wants your blood."

Boba strode away and the confused little droid dropped its head, moving to the side of the ship that Poe sat near, trying to be as close as possible to its former owner, even though the cell door kept them apart. 

Once Boba's back was turned, Hux dropped his cuffed hands and found Poe's, holding them. Poe looked to him with confusion, but didn't say anything more. Instead, he pressed close, resting his head on Hux's shoulder. 

"I won't let anyone hurt you." He said lowly, shutting his eyes against the wave nausea that ran through him as he thought about what the bounty hunter said. "They'll have to execute me right alongside you." 

Hux swallowed past the worried lump in his throat. If they were being returned to the Resistance, his fate was almost certain. He hoped for his sake that it was quick, quiet, and that Poe didn't have to see it. Though for his crimes, he was sure it would be nothing short of a painful, humiliating public spectacle. 

He pressed his lips to Poe's forehead and let out a soft breath, fingers tightening with worry as they made their way to the meeting point.


	10. Rebel Scum

Few members of the Resistance knew what General Leia Organa was up to at any point, and they would probably be surprised to know that she had contracted a bounty hunter to bring Poe Dameron home. 

It had been a year since he was last seen by Rey and Finn, but Leia knew as well as everyone else that Poe had a ferocious will to live, and they were going to bring him home where he belonged. She had brought familiar faces with her, too; Rey, Finn and Rose, who all waited nervously on one of the docking bays in Tatooine. 

Leia had found it ironic that the bounty hunter picked the mutual meeting point as a place where he had allegedly fallen to his death, but she didn't question it. She couldn't exactly be mad at Fett anyway; he knew damn well who she was when she first showed up to rescue Han Solo, and he did nothing to stop her. He'd been paid, Han was a decorative piece on Jabba's wall, and that's all there was to it. It wasn’t Boba’s job to be Jabba’s bodyguard, and if Solo got loose, the bounty hunter would just have to go after him again. 

Fett didn't exactly expect Leia to kill his highest paying client, but that was life and death as a crime lord. There were plenty more bounties in the Galaxy. 

"He better not shoot me again." Finn said as they watched Fett's ship appear in the distance. 

"He doesn't know who you are. Any of you. So no hugging, touching - don't overwhelm him. From what you've told me, it sounds like he's been reconditioned quite extensively. Stars knows what that involved." Leia explained. 

Finn nodded some, “I’ve heard stories, but I never had to report to reconditioning before. Some guys were sick for days after. Bruises and welts...” 

"Do you think we will ever get our Poe back?" Rose interrupted, wringing her hands together in nervousness. 

Leia sighed sadly. “Its hard to say what condition he will be in. I want him taken to medical bay for a thorough examination when we get back to Yavin 4, and then I want two guards posted outside of his quarters. He's not going to trust us, and we can't be too careful." 

The ship landed not far from them in a whirl of sand and smoke, and the first to appear was BB-8, whistling happily as it rolled down the ramp. Finn smiled as it came over, and he knelt down to reward the droid with belly scratches like Poe used to do. 

"I can't believe you're here after all this time!" Finn exclaimed, the smile slipping from his lips when BB-8 prattled on about how Poe didn't recognize his own droid. "He's not well, BB, and it's going to take a bit. You're going to need patience. He’ll get there if we all help him.” 

BB-8 whistled sadly, turning to see the Mandalorian dragging Armitage Hux. Close to him was Poe, their fingers still laced together despite the binders. Poe's legs still shook a little with the tranquilizer Fett had used, but otherwise he looked fine. Great, even. In better shape than any of them had ever seen before. 

"From a Princess to a General." Fett mused, the smile evident from behind his helmet. 

Leia gave a roll of her eyes. "Thanks for not tossing them in carbonite." 

Fett held up his hands, feigning innocence. "We both know that was your fathers doing and that was a really long time ago." 

Leia took out her datapad, transferring the credits to the bounty hunter. "I might be old, but no one ever forgets seeing their loved one being carted away by a bounty hunter." 

"Well, you're the one who fell in love with a smuggler." Fett bit back, grip tightening on Hux's arm as he struggled. "So do you want me to shoot this one right here or what? He’s like a little add-on, eh? Picked him up with your cargo. They wouldn’t let one another go for the life of them." 

"No!" Poe cried out, surprising nearly everyone on the docking bay. 

"Poe, it's alright. It's going to be alright." Hux reassured him, hands tightening around Poe's as he felt Fett's blaster rifle press against the back of his head. 

"I said no killing." Leia snapped, "I need answers from him so I need him _alive_. You've been paid, Fett, more than you asked -- so you can be on your way." 

Fett rolled his eyes behind his helmet and holstered his weapon, releasing Poe's cuffs but leaving Hux in his. 

"Suit yourself, Princess. Give me a call next time you need someone to do your dirty work, huh? I'll be sure to come out of retirement for you. Again." 

Fett didn't look back as he strolled back to his ship like he owned the whole galaxy. Leia shook her head as he went, turning her attention to Poe and Hux. 

"Poe, my name is General Leia Organa, and I am with the Resistance." 

Poe's brow furrowed. "I've had dreams about you." He murmured, and Hux elbowed him gently in the side as a reminder that it probably wasn't wise to speak. 

Leia smiled softly, "We're here to help you, Poe. Your friends Rey, Finn and Rose are going to take you on their ship back to our base. This one," She gestured to Hux, "Will ride in the transport with me." 

Poe's jaw set defiantly. "We go together, or not at all." 

Leia sighed again, "I'll allow it for now. I'll meet you three back at the base, and take BB-8 with you. They'll ride with me." 

Several Resistance troops joined Leia, one taking Hux roughly by the elbow for the short walk to the transport. Hux didn't say a word, his jaw set in silence and his features unreadable. Poe followed closely behind. 

Once they were seated in the transport, Poe shifted close to Hux and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He wasn't sure what was going to happen to them, but he knew for Hux, it wasn't going to be good. Even though they had been gone from the First Order for a year, the entire fleet followed his and Ren's command, and Hux was a valuable bargaining chip for them. Poe was simply a pilot, with no insider knowledge of the First Order or their future plans for the Resistance. 

Leia took in the two men that sat across from her, and she was rather surprised at their closeness. She had noticed that they held hands, though in certain situations she knew it was a thing of comfort. Hopefully that was all it was, though she had suspicions that it went far deeper than that. 

Still, after not seeing Poe for so long, she was glad to see that he was in good health, even if he was at the side of a mass murderer. Part of her wondered what caused Hux to defect from the First Order, but she knew he would be answering all the questions she had for him soon enough. 

When the transport landed and they disembarked, a trooper took Hux again by the arm, grasping him tighter than he needed to for no reason other than to show him who was in charge. Hux still didn’t fight, but the trooper earned an icy glare from the redhead. 

"Poe... I'm going to show you to your quarters." Leia said, offering her hand to him. 

He looked down at it but refused without a word and she dropped her hand back to her side again. 

"I'm going with Armitage." 

Hux looked to Poe as he was tugged in the other direction, trying to steel his features. He knew where he was going was not going to be as pleasant or as welcoming as where Poe was going but he didn't want to worry him. 

Poe immediately began to follow Hux and the trooper but was held back. He began to fight, satisfied when one trooper let out a grunt when Poe's elbow hit him hard in the side. He flailed as a second trooper joined to help, grasping Poe around the waist and narrowly missing a kick as he threw his leg back. 

"Where are you taking him? Let me go you kriffing animals! Armitage!" He shouted, taking another swing at a trooper and missing, too focused on watching Hux. 

"Poe! Poe relax, he's going to be just fine. No one is going to hurt him." Leia reassured him, though she kept his distance while he struggled desperately. 

“No! I don’t trust you... let me go!” He demanded, throwing his weight against the troopers. 

Hux spared one more glance over his shoulder to his lover as he was dragged inside the base and taken to a cell. The man who had guided him pushed him in hard enough to cause him to stumble, but he caught himself before he fell. 

"You're not going to be 'just fine'. A lot of people here had family in the Hosnian System, General Starkiller. They’re going to make sure you pay." The trooper sneered. 

Hux sat on the edge of his bed and glanced up at the man with a tight lipped smile, barely holding onto his anger. 

"That's Grand Marshal Starkiller to you, rebel scum.”


	11. Memories

Poe had continued fighting the Resistance troops as they dragged him into the base and to the medical bay, still shouting Hux's name. He kicked and swung his arms, feeling satisfaction every time he managed to make contact with someone. He drew attention to himself, but he wanted the others to know what was happening. He wanted them to fear that this could happen to them, too. That the Resistance wasn’t as kind as everyone thought they were. 

"You're going to have to give him something to calm him down." Leia told Doctor Kalonia as the troops brought Poe in. 

When he saw the medical bay his eyes widened and he fought even more fiercely, throwing his weight around in desperation to get free. It wasn’t the reconditioning chair he had been strapped into before, but he hadn’t had a lot of good experiences in medbays, and since he wasn’t injured, he trusted these rebels even less. 

"No! No!" He shouted, pushing against one of the troops as another grabbed around his waist to try and secure him again. 

"Poe," Kalonia said softly, "I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." 

Poe didn't believe the woman for a second. He thrashed more, the back of his skull making contact with the troopers nose behind him, causing an awful crunching noise and his waist to be freed. He used his lower half for leverage, flipping himself backward and bringing the second trooper with him. The grip on his arms was released as they tumbled to the ground with Poe's fall being broken by the other man. 

Quickly he got to his feet and began to run, disoriented and not familiar with the base. Still, he had to get back to where the hangar was so he could retrace the steps Hux and the trooper took to get to him. He didn't get far though when he felt a strange shockwave pass through him, throwing him several feet into the ground where he immediately lost consciousness. 

"I really wish I didn't have to do that. Again." Leia muttered, holstering her blaster and sending two troops to retrieve Poe. 

When he woke again his whole body felt weighted, but it was a warm, pleasant weight. He was in a medical bed, strapped down by his chest, arms and ankles and covered in several blankets to keep him warm. Bleary eyes scanned the room until finally falling on the kind face of a woman who wore an Alliance medical uniform. She gave him a small smile. Poe sneered and tugged at his restraints, but his body was still weak from whatever they had dosed him with. 

"Poe, do you remember your full name?" She asked in that same soft voice. 

He rolled his eyes and let out a breath. "Poe Dameron." 

"Do you know what planet you're on?" 

"No." 

"Do you know who I am?" 

"A doctor, I assume." 

Kalonia walked slowly over to his bed, and Poe watched her warily. She sat down in the chair next to the bed, but didn't make a move to touch him. All the better, because Poe didn’t want Rebel hands on him. He wouldn’t admit that he was scared of what the Resistance might do to him, no matter how comforting they were trying to be. 

"Do you know what your job is?" 

"I'm a smuggler." Poe replied casually, "Where's Hux? What are you going to do to us?" 

Kalonia gave him a gentle smile. "He's being taken care of well. My job is to make sure you are healthy. I'm Doctor Kalonia. I used to know your mother." 

Poe looked at her for a moment, his hands curling into fists and relaxing again. He scoffed. 

"What do you know about my mother?"

"How about you tell me what you remember about her?" 

Poe shot her a glare. "I'm not telling any of you a damn thing." 

She nodded a little in understanding. "Shara Bey was such a lovely woman. She used to bring you around and you'd run about the hangar making ship noises. You couldn't wait to fly. We were shocked when Shara told us she was taking you up with her but she started teaching you to fly when you were only four."

Poe's eyes softened a little as he listened to Kalonia speak, and he found himself fidgeting with the sheets under his fingers. His heart rate had decreased and his body felt a little less heavy now. He didn't struggle any longer in the bindings, his whole attention on the doctor. 

"I have a photo of her." Kalonia offered, getting up slowly and plucking a framed photo from her desk. 

She held it close for Poe to see, and he studied the photo for a long moment. There was the doctor, much younger then, next to a woman in an Alliance orange and white flight suit, smiling proudly. She had her helmet tucked under her arm and an X-Wing was in the background of the photo. 

Nausea washed over him and his head began to throb. That smile was so familiar. It struck him deeply, somehow, his brain trying to pull memories out of the abyss, and failing. 

"This was just after the battle of Endor, if I remember correctly. Your mother and father, Kes Dameron, were Alliance heroes." 

Poe stared a minute more, feeling a tear rolling down his cheek. Kalonia reached up and a thumb wiped it away as she cupped his cheek. He pressed his jaw into her hand with a soft sigh. He wished the comfort was coming from Hux, but the doctor seemed genuine enough. 

"I don't remember my father... what he looked like. The sounds of my mothers voice... I didn’t even know her name.” 

Kalonia nodded some. "You will, Poe. Eventually. Memory loss takes time but you can regain it. You’re a healthy young man with no neurological damage.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Now can I bring you to your room or are you going to break another troopers nose?" 

"I'll be good." He muttered, considering his options and finding that while he was strapped and under observation in a medical bay, he wouldn't be going anywhere. At least in his own room he could formulate a plan of escape and get to Hux. 

Kalonia released all of the bindings and helped Poe to his feet, holding him steady as he took his first few steps. He regained his equilibrium and felt more himself again, straightening up and beginning to follow the doctor down the hallway to his quarters. 

She showed him to his room and he walked in, surprised to see that it was not a cell at all. There was a comfortable looking bed, a desk and chair in the corner, an en suite refresher, and a dresser that had most of the essentials in the drawers. He hoped that Hux had similar accommodations. 

"Poe," The Doctor called from the doorway as he went through the drawers and checked everything out, "What is your rank designation?" 

Poe turned on the small light that sat on the desk. There were several old books there for him to read, but no datapad for him to access. Without looking at the doctor, he replied simply, 

"My name is Captain Poe Dameron of the First Order." 

She nodded some, her features sad as she turned and took her leave, and Poe sat down at the edge of his bed with a sigh. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice said that he was safe, but his gut twisted with worry. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Hux.


	12. Seeing Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: physical/psychological abuse ahead

Hux didn't know how long he had remained in his cell until he saw another human being. They brought him a tray of food that they passed to him through a slot in the transparisteel door. He tried to refuse it, but he was hungry. He stood, making his way to the door and allowing the woman on the other side to uncuff him so he could eat. 

The food wasn't that great; a warmed packet of protein, an energy bar and some water. Basic rations. More than what the First Order usually offered their prisoners, though Hux was sure he wouldn't be around long enough to make a dent in their food expenditure. 

He slept for a period of time; he couldn't tell whether it was night or day in the cell or by the dark stone corridor, so he let his body make the decisions for him.

His cell had a small refresher that he used to wash his face, and was considering a shower when three troopers showed up with binders in hand. Hux supposed it was time to answer some questions, so he stood and walked to the door, allowing one man to cuff him before they opened the door. 

They took him down several hallways and to a room only slightly larger than his cell, but it was sparse. Hux noticed the chains on the wall and hanging from the ceiling before his binders were affixed to the chain against the far wall. He had enough chain length to sit down, _or strangle myself_ , he thought as he slid down the back wall.

One trooper kicked him hard in ribs and left him winded, but otherwise unscathed. He huffed, getting as comfortable as he could until General Organa appeared in the doorway to the small room. Despite her position within the Resistance, she still moved with a regal air about her. 

A trooper brought her a chair and she sat, a cup of hot caf in hand. Hux could smell cinnamon and a couple other spices from the cup and she sipped at it, observing him. 

"Poe Dameron is responsible for dozens of Resistance members lives." She said, almost too casually. "The deaths of them, that is. It seems he must have been quite the formidable First Order pilot." 

"He's a fast learner." Hux offered with a shrug, "With all due respect, _General_ , if you are looking for information about the First Order, you will not find it from me."

Leia nodded, "I took a look at the ship logs that Fett took off your freighter. Defecting - isn't that punishable by death?" 

Hux laughed coldly, "Isn't being captured by the opposing side a death sentence?" He waved his hand dismissively, "I have no information for you." 

Leia was undeterred. "You can start by telling me what you did to Poe and why he thinks he's a Captain in the First Order." 

Hux gave a smirk that cut through the tension in the room like a vibroblade. He could talk without giving up anything of value. "He served well as a Captain for nearly a year before we ended up on a reconnaissance mission here. You know that much judging by the kill count - the traitor and the scavenger girl triggered his memories and he fled. With me. Willingly." 

Leia knew there was no way to undo what Hux and the First Order had done to Poe, but they could help him remember. How much truth he was getting out of the former Grand Marshal however, was questionable. 

"Tell me about the First Order." 

Hux sneered at that, "As far as I know, _your son_ is doing a fantastic job of wiping your rebel scum from the Galaxy. Does it hurt? Knowing your only child murdered his father? Swayed so easily to the Dark Side? That he hunts you all and won't hesitate to slaughter every single resistance fighter in front of your very eyes? How do you feel knowing you've given birth to an inhuman monster?" 

Leia's jaw set and she stood, furious. Hux held her gaze in a challenge. They were both very proud - some may have called them fanatics of their respective organizations - but Kylo was still a raw nerve to Leia. The beautiful boy she had given birth to, raining down death on so many innocent people. A misguided, scared boy who took the life of his father in an attempt to end the pain that tortured him relentlessly. A fierce tug of war between dark and light. 

She regained her composure and took a sip of her tea, still regarding Hux. Trying to figure him out - his weaknesses. 

"I suppose this is the part where your goons come in and pummel me until I'm ready to talk more? I can't wait to hear more stories about your family life." Hux murmured, a lazy, cocky smile on his face. 

A trooper crossed the room and hit Hux in the face, his head whipping to the side and the taste of blood filling his mouth where the soft tissue of his cheek scraped against his teeth. He spat blood on the stone floor and looked to Leia again, still smirking.

"Oh, Princess," he muttered with disdain, "You and I both know what this is. A soon-to-be torture session thinly veiled as an interrogation. You'll torture me for days, I'll still have nothing to say, you'll execute me, and your pilot will _hate_ you for it. He will run. Run back to the safety and protection the First Order offered to him, the chance to be an Admiral of a fleet one day - what would he get here? Some tea and a "good job" pat on the back for risking his life?" 

He was hit in the face again, but he still grinned, even as the trooper pulled Hux up and hung him from the ceiling chain, hoisting him so his toes desperately sought purchase on the stone floor. Hux watched as another two troopers joined the one in the room and the General slipped out, not wanting to be party to the torture. 

“You know it’s true, Princess!” He called after her, “You all know its true.” 

Hux knew well what kind of tactics the Resistance would employ against an enemy. He could deal with the physical pain. Broken bones. Nails ripped from their beds on his hands. A constant ringing in his ears from too many hits to the head. He had done all of this before, in one way or another. 

"I've been dreaming about the day we would get someone like you in here." One of the troopers said, spitting at Hux. 

He held his head high, even as the troopers stripped him to his boxer briefs and the man's spit rolled down his left cheek. Dignified, or at least trying to be, when he was in a precarious position. One trooper touched the scars on his back and a low, animalistic growl came from Hux’s lips faster than he could stop it. 

"Poor beaten bastard." Another tisked, "Don't worry, Starkiller, the whip we have won't cut so deep." 

The man that had commented on the scars drew back, taking the shock whip from his belt. He wrapped it around Hux's neck, squeezing tightly to cut off his air for several seconds before turning the electrical current on low.

Immediately Hux's whole head felt like it was filled with lightning, his body seizing and his brain unable to comprehend what was happening. The shock caused him to involuntarily clench his jaw as his body shook from the current. His fingers flexed above their binds and his muscles twitched and convulsed all the way to the base of his spine. His back arched, and his toes slipped on the stone, pulling painfully as his wrists bore his entire weight. 

The trooper shocked him several times while another laid into him with his fists, hitting him in the face and stomach, winding Hux when he occasionally caught his ribs in the raining blows. Hux spat out blood, let it dribble down his chin and into his beard, but he didn't speak, didn't cry out in pain, refusing to give the trio any satisfaction. 

"Give him a shot of Bavo-Six." 

Hux lifted his bloody head in time to see the needle coming at him, hissing as it punctured his neck and the viscous liquid was pushed into his veins. He felt the skin around the injection site begin to burn and he thrashed in his bindings, stilling only for a moment when the whip wrapped around his neck again, cutting off his air. 

Every time the edges of his vision began to blur and become black, the whip was released and he was left gasping and sputtering for air. His mouth tasted of metal and he was sure he had breathed some blood into his lungs.

The troopers took their turns hitting him; enough to hurt but not enough to do permanent damage to organs or break bones. Leia wouldn't have approved of that. Bruises began to bloom across Hux's pale skin as red turned to purple. One struck him hard enough that his solar plexus spasamed, stealing the air from his lungs and leaving him gasping and wide eyed. 

"I bet your father beat you like this." One said as another struck him in the side. “Everyone has heard the rumours of Brendol Hux.”

"My father preferred not to get his hands messy. His guards usually did it for him." Hux said breathlessly, head lulling to the side a little as saliva and blood rolled out of his mouth. 

_Damned truth serum!_ He cursed. 

The troopers laughed at Hux's honesty and continued to belittle him, but he couldn't hear them. It was all a bunch of white noise as Hux tried to shut himself down, a coping method he used when he was younger. Still very much conscious and alert, but not necessarily in ones own body, allowing brief reprieve from the physical pain. 

He hadn't realized he had been let down from the chains until he felt the chill of the stone floor against his body. He felt another injection on the other side of his neck and his body flared up with pain. The troopers kicked him several more times before taking their leave, leaving him in complete blackness with the Bavo-Six coursing through his veins, as well as something else that made his flesh crawl and ache. 

"Poor bastard boy indeed." Came a low voice, his father stepping into his peripherals. 

"I kriffing hate his drug." He groaned, turning onto his side away from the vision. 

"If you came back, maybe you wouldn't be in this position." Kylo's voice came next, thick and heavy through the modulator of the helmet he was so familiar with. 

He knew that he didn't wear the mask any longer, but he assumed his mind had brought forward the most common vision of Ren he had. His stomach lurched as pain seemed to surge through him. As much as he tried to breathe through the pain of his face swelling and body throbbing, the drugs in his body made it hard to ignore. 

He lasted only several more minutes before the hallucinations began to take over in the darkness and he began to scream.


	13. They Took Everything

Poe found out the second day he was there that he wasn't allowed to leave his quarters without an escort, but that didn't stop the pilot from trying. He had dodged one trooper that stood posted at his door and was narrowly missed by the second one before slamming into someone else as he turned around. 

"Poe! Are you alright?" Finn asked, catching him as he stumbled backwards. 

"Yeah I just, uh, I was... just..." 

Finn frowned, "You know you aren't supposed to leave your room. Come on. I'll take you back." 

Poe didn’t argue, just allowed his shoulders to slump some in defeat as he was turned around and taken back to his quarters. The orange and white droid that Poe had seen on Fett's ship followed behind the two of them, whistling and beeping at the pair. 

The troopers let Poe and Finn back into his quarters where Poe sat down on the bed, Finn keeping his distance and sitting in the desk chair. The BB-unit, however, rolled right in and stopped at Poe's feet, wiggling in place and beeping. 

"It wants to know if you remember yet." Finn said with a sad smile, "Give him time, BB. It'll be okay."

Poe looked to the droid and sank from his bed to the floor, BB-8 whirring with joy and rolling under Poe's arm, trying to cuddle close. He smiled, a hand sliding over the domed head of the droid like he was petting an animal. This seemed familiar. 

"You and BB-8 used to lead the Resistance's Black Squadron." Finn explained, "You guys have been best buddies for years. I can't believe you are both back." 

Poe let the droid nuzzle him as he turned his attention to the other man, "How did we meet? I... remember things... fragments... did I shoot you?" 

Finn laughed and nodded, "Yeah, a year ago. Just grazed my shoulder... no harm done. We met when you were first captured by the First Order. They were interrogating you. I was a stormtrooper. I needed to get out, you needed to get out - we escaped in a TIE fighter and went to Jakku to find BB. He had an important map.” He explained. 

“I'm Finn. You gave me that name. In the First Order I was only ever a number. You gave me my identity." He smiled at the memory, “You were the first person to call me by a name. Make me an individual. Not just a number - a cog in a machine. You made me _matter_.” 

Poe shut his eyes, easily recalling the dreams that haunted him. _Where is the map to Skywalker?_ A shiver ran through him and he opened his eyes again, hoping that Finn didn't notice. If he did, he said nothing. 

"The map... was... was it a map to Skywalker?"

Finn nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, yes! That's it! See, you're remembering." 

Poe swallowed. "I have nightmares... the Supreme Leader asking me over and over about the map to Skywalker." 

Finn frowned again, "That happened, Poe. That... that whole thing? It was real. They tortured you for days and you didn't break until Ren got into your mind." 

Poe could feel his body begin to tremble and his head ached with the thoughts swirling around in his mind. He gripped the droid close and it nuzzled him more, offering him comfort. Something about this felt so familiar, but it gripped him tightly in the chest, suffocating him. 

"Where is Armitage?" He asked, breaths beginning to come in panicked gasps. 

"General Hux? He's fine." Finn said dismissively.

"I want to see him." Poe demanded, his chest feeling ever tighter. 

"You know we can't do that, Poe." 

"I want to see him!" He shouted, startling both the droid and the man named Finn, as well as drawing the attention of the troops posted outside the door. 

"I'm sorry, Poe..." 

"If he's dead I swear I'll end you all." He seethed, and BB whooped and rolled away from him and over to Finn. 

"He's not dead, I promise. Just breathe, Poe. He's okay." Finn paused, "Why do you care? He's a genocidal maniac." 

"And you were a stormtrooper. The foot soldier of the Supreme Leader and a traitor for leaving." 

Finn stared at him but didn't react; he knew this wasn't _their_ Poe, and he didn't truly mean what he said. He was hurt and confused, and Finn knew what that felt like. When he first joined the Resistance, everything was different to him. It must be the same for Poe right now, he figured. 

Poe stood, his hands clenched into fists at his side. "I want to see him." He said, trying to ignore the crushing feeling of absolute panic in his chest. 

"Well, you can't." Finn said, standing as well and backing slowly towards the door. "What did they do to you, Poe?"

"They didn't do anything. Armitage loves me, and I love him." Poe said with confidence, but the panic constricted in his chest again, squeezing tighter. 

Finn shook his head, "No, no they took everything from you." 

Poe sat back down on the bed as Finn left, trying to regain what was left of his composure. He thought of Hux, his fingers through his hair, the tune he hummed when he tried to relax him. He focused on relaxing his breathing, willing the tightness in his chest away. 

Opening his eyes again once he had calmed himself, he was surprised to see the droid still looking at him from under the desk as if it were scared. He frowned, holding out his arm. 

"Come on, come here. I won't hurt you." He said gently, smiling a little when the droid rolled out from under the desk and to his hand, pressing its head against him. 

"I didn't mean to scare you, Buddy." 

The nickname earned a happy whir from the droid, and something deep inside Poe seemed to spark with a slow recognition. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on bringing the memory to the forefront of his mind. 

_"I've got a bad feeling about this," the droid chirped from its spot in Poe's X-Wing._

_"Happy beeps here, buddy, come on. We've pulled crazier stunts than this."_

He opened his eyes again, still unable to make sense of the memory. His hand slid over the droids domed head again as he sighed. 

"I could understand you." He said thoughtfully, and BB-8 whistled in response, "You are my buddy, aren't you?" 

BB-8 beeped and whistled, rocking back and forth slightly in place in a show of excitement. 

"Give me time... maybe one day I'll be able to understand you again." He said, laying back on his bed and staring at the ceiling, "I wish you could help me. Help me remember all these crazy things people are saying. That I was with the Resistance and went missing - Hux never hurt me, buddy. He's a good man and I love him. Whatever happened... he was there. He stayed when he could have left." 

He sighed, rolling onto his side and curling up, "We've spent every day together for the past year. It's weird not to have him here. Lonely. I miss him." 

BB-8 purred a little and tucked close to Poe's bed, allowing the pilot to rest his hand on the droids belly as he closed his eyes. This whole experience was mentally exhausting. It wasn't long until he fell asleep, even though it was the middle of the day.


	14. Visions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: graphic torture, psychological and drug abuse, waterboarding and branding.**

Hux didn't know how long he had been kept awake for. He knew these tactics better than anyone, yet he was not immune to them. No one was. Going without sleep was hard enough, but he had not had the luxury of food since the small meal when he first arrived. 

When he was brought back to his cell following the first round of torture, he showered the dried blood off of himself and applied the bacta patches he found in his room, letting them take the swelling down on his face enough so that he could open his eye again with minimal pain. He knew they only provided them so that he could be beaten and his skin broken back open again - it was the only reason the First Order cared for their captives wounds. They refused to lose anyone to their injuries before they got their answers. 

He tried desperately to sleep but the bright light and a deep thrumming noise like a constantly running engine kept him teetering on the edge of wakefulness and sleep. He tried to cover his eyes, his ears, foregoing the comfort of having a blanket and wrapping it around his ears and eyes to block out the light and sound. Still, nothing worked. 

By the time he was dragged down the hallways to the small room again, his head spun with dizziness and his eyes burned like there was sand in them. He felt nauseous before anything even began, and he sighed at the cool, quiet darkness of the room. Green eyes slid shut the moment the troopers left, but he was only left alone for several minutes until several troopers appeared again, one with a syringe of what Hux guessed to be Bavo-Six. 

"You three again?" He asked with a smirk, "You should know by now your methods don't work on me." 

A hand that was almost too kind slid through his hair as he was injected with the serum. He was glad that this one didn't seem to be the stuff that made his blood feel like it was boiling. They undid his cuffs which made him raise a brow in question. He lashed out but he was uncoordinated in his exhaustion and was sent to the floor with a vicious kick to the stomach. 

The edges of the room seemed to blur as he sat up, and he knew almost immediately that the drug they injected wasn't one to heighten pain. He held his hand to his head for a moment and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus and not allow the drug to take complete control. 

_"I should've left you on that planet to die."_

Hux would have begged for the drug that made him feel like his blood was boiling if he knew they were going to trick his body into hallucinating. Into recalling only the deepest, most painful secrets that his mind held onto. 

"Please," He begged, grasping onto the nearest troopers boot, "Anything but this." 

"General Starkiller is afraid of what's in his own mind." One taunted. 

"Let him be afraid. I wish he could hear every scream of every dead soul in the Hosnian System. Makes me sick he's even still alive." Said another. 

A boot came to his chest and kicked him back again, leaving Hux sprawled on the floor. Already his adrenaline was spiking along with his heart rate, and his palms were sweaty. 

_"For each infraction, you'll scream a dozen times."_

Hux pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, then slid his hands back to cover his ears as he drew his knees to his chest. He tried desperately to drown out the voices, but he knew they were in his mind. 

Suddenly, his whole body seized and convulsed as a trooper hit him with a shock whip. Another gave him a couple kicks to places that weren't already bruised before cutting off the shirt he wore. The next shock whip strike caught him across the chest, but he still wouldn't give them the satisfaction of making noise even as the mental and physical assaults continued. 

He blinked, trying to clear his mind of Arkanis and the room where he'd been whipped several times before. The troopers seemed to morph into superior officers at the Academy, and sometimes, his father. 

_"You're worthless. The bastard I never wanted and got stuck with anyway."_

Hux bucked up as a trooper held down each arm and the third placed his shirt over his face. He was disoriented enough when he still had his vision and now this was worse. He whipped his head from side to side, trying to dislodge the fabric when water came pouring down onto it, making him feel like he was suffocating. 

He choked as water ran in rivulets into his sinus cavity and into his desperately gasping mouth, only able to catch his breath when the water stopped flowing. He coughed and sputtered, gulping down air before more water hit him, longer this time, until the edges of his vision started to blur and he was thrashing to get loose. His mind faded into blind panic, and the hallucinations got worse. 

"This is for Hosnian Prime," One trooper growled, pouring another jug of water over Hux's face.

Hux's body thrashed desperately, choking on the water, the sounds bubbling in his chest and the cold water burning his sinuses as they filled. Had he not been drugged he may have been able to deal with this - maybe even added it to his own torture protocol in the First Order, but right now he struggled just to remember where he was. 

"Don't drown him," another warned, "The General will be pissed. Get the brand instead." 

“If he died, it would be worth it.” One muttered. 

When they stopped with the water torture and tossed the sopping fabric aside, Hux turned his head to the side and coughed, water coming up from his lungs. They rolled him onto his side and from there Hux put himself on his belly, feeling water running out from his nostrils. His face felt like it was burning and his head swam, making his stomach lurch and twist. 

He had barely caught his breath when the troopers put him back in binders and hoisted him up to dangle from the ceiling again, his feet sliding beneath him on the wet stone. His head lulled back, wet red strands of hair obscuring his face. 

In the corner of the room stood a vision of Kylo Ren, arms crossed over his chest, observing. Hux told himself he wasn't really there, and neither was his father, but the drugs worked well against his senses. He kept tight lipped even though he wanted to scream at Ren to help him. Beg him, even. 

He didn't know how many times he was struck with fists and the butts of blaster rifles, but he would have gladly taken another beating over the drug or water torture. He was barely coherent to what was happening around him when the third trooper returned with a piece of iron, red hot on the end. 

Hux's brain didn't process what it was or what was happening until the trooper pressed it against his right armpit, ripping a raw and guttural scream from Hux's throat. The three men seemed to congratulate themselves on getting the Grand Marshal to break while Hux's body shivered and shook from pain. 

More beatings came, blood mixing with the water on the stone floor. He couldn't see out of his left eye as the skin over his eyebrow had separated and was bleeding into it, making it sting and water. He was thankful, though, when he was laid down in the pool of watery blood, but only momentarily. 

Even with his eyes shut he knew what had happened as the smell of burning flesh permeated the room and searing pain flared up from his left, then right foot. He screamed, blunt nails digging into the stone so hard he was sure he had snapped one clean off his finger. His body convulsed with pain and he vomited bile and water all over himself and the floor. 

If the troopers had beaten or whipped him after he'd been sick, he didn't feel it. All he could think about was how his feet throbbed terribly, tightening with the immediate blisters that were forming. 

Kylo Ren stood in the corner still like an eerie statue in his peripherals, there but not. His father paced in front of him, a ghost of his past, berating him. Even his voice made Hux tremble a little bit more than he already was. 

_"You're nothing and you will never be anything. I should have sold you to slavers for what I could get, but even they wouldn't pay for the likes of you. Who would want something such as you? Your own mother never loved you. That's why I got stuck with you. A weak, pathetic little boy with nothing to show for himself."_

Hux laid his head on the stone and shut his eyes. He didn't know how long he was there; the drug wouldn't let him sleep and he couldn't quiet his mind. He felt like he was being torn apart and desperate for any kind of comfort to be found, he dragged himself through his own blood and to where Ren's vision still stood. He reached up to grab the cloak but his fingers slipped through the hallucination. 

He whimpered, a small pathetic noise as he attempted to curl up and quell the shivers, but it wasn't long before the troopers - the same or different he wasn't sure - came back to retrieve him. One grabbed him by his hair and wrenched his head back, wrapping the shock whip around his neck. 

"Are you ready to pay with your life yet, Starkiller?" 

Hux glared at the trooper who asked, eyes defiant and jaw set. He spat at him and earned a slap to the face as well as a violent shock from the whip, making him growl out in pain. For the Resistance, they were much more ruthless than Hux had ever expected. Perhaps it was his fault for underestimating them but he always thought that General Organa would have been above torture. 

They hauled him to his feet and Hux screamed as the floor pressed up against the fresh burns, but they made him walk. Each step was worse than hot coals, the skin stretching, breaking open and streaking the floor with blood on the walk back to his cell.

It was the longest walk of Hux's young life. 

Near his cell he collapsed, grabbing for a trooper on the way down and only earning another kick. They made him crawl the rest of the way as they humiliated him, lashing him with the shock whip until he got into his cell on his own accord. 

His body collapsed to the floor then, and Hux's world went black.


	15. Heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks so much to those who continue to read, I really appreciate it! I have the last couple chapters going through editing right now and I’m hoping to finalize it all soon. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and popping by on tumblr with your lovely comments, I appreciate it so much!

Poe wasn’t used to getting regular visitors. Every time someone knocked on his door, his heart leapt into his throat and was then crushed down to the depths of his stomach as someone else that claimed to know him walked in. 

This time it was two young females. He figured he had angered that Finn fellow enough that he wouldn’t see him again for some time. 

“Poe, my name is Rose.” One said with a smile that seemed genuine; something about that was disarming to Poe. 

“My name is Rey.” The other said. 

BB-8 responded happily to both of them, but kept near Poe; he had been unable to shake the droid since they’d begun to bond again. It was nice to have someone there with him - BB felt like more than just a droid to Poe, and he enjoyed its company and lack of judgment. 

“I brought you some of your favorite drink.” Rose said, holding out a self warming mug. 

Poe took it with caution, smelling it first. It was unlike anything he remembered the First Order having, but when he sipped at it - carefully because it was still hot - something else seemed to fall into place in his mind. 

“Hot chocolate?” He asked, brows coming down in question. 

Both women grinned. “Yeah,” Rose said cheerily, “I remember one time you told me about how you always preferred a sugar rush to a caffeine one, so I tracked down some for you to have.” 

Poe nodded a little, “Thank you.” 

Rose sat down on the edge of his bed, giving him enough space to not feel crowded. 

“My sister used to talk about you. They used your image in a recruitment campaign, actually. When she saw you for the first time in real life she could hardly believe it. You’re a real hero.” 

Poe looked at her, his eyes soft, searching for truth in her words. She pulled out her data pad and went through a couple of files before finding the image. There he was, in an orange flight suit with X-Wings streaking the sky behind him. 

“You were there with her.” Rose started, a little more solemnly now as she put the data pad aside. “You flew in the mission where she sacrificed herself. You guys took down a First Order Dreadnaught.” 

Poe’s brows came together in confusion, his hand curling more tightly around the mug. Dreadnaughts were unstoppable so far as he knew - fleet killers, they were called - but if what Rose was saying was true...

“I’m sorry you lost her.” He said quietly, and she nodded in response, eyes shining with unshed tears, but she still had a small smile on her lips. 

“We used to stay up late talking sometimes. You knew how much she meant to me. That she was all I had. I wouldn’t have been able to start healing from the loss without you.” Rose reached over slowly and gave Poe’s shoulder a squeeze, “I’m glad you’re back, Poe. We will help you remember.” She said as she glanced to Rey, who gave them both a nod of acknowledgement. 

Rose stood then, straightening out the jumpsuit she wore and wiping at a stray tear that escaped from the corner of her eye. 

“I’ve got to get back to work, but if you ever need me, any time, I’m happy to talk.” 

“Thanks, Rose.” He said, giving her a small smile before she took her leave, dark eyes then sweeping over to Rey. “So what about you and I? Have a story for me?” 

Rey shrugged. “I was off base a lot. You and I didn’t meet until after the Battle of Crait.” She paused as if she was trying to piece together what to say next. 

Poe’s hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he felt a tingling pressure against his forehead and temples, unaware that it was Rey slowly pushing herself into his mind. 

He was malleable, since he didn’t know what was happening, allowing her to see for herself what Poe’s recent past was. As she sank deeper into his mind he groaned in discomfort, hand moving to rub at his right temple. His heart rate picked up steadily, responding more to the intrusion as Rey dug around in his head. 

She saw the mysterious hit to his X-Wing, the panic as the ship was pulled back to the planet and the eerie calm he let wash over him as Poe struggled to keep the X-Wings nose up as the ground grew closer. Then there was nothing; nothing until General Hux told him he was a pilot for the First Order. 

“I don’t feel —” he started, freezing when his quarters seemed to melt into a vision he had suppressed; the vision of the man and woman who reconditioned him. 

Poe’s whole body went rigid with fear as Rey watched the memory play out in front of her. When the electrical switch was thrown Poe’s body seemed to respond in real life, pulling her violently out of his mind as he began to seize. 

“Poe!” She cried, jumping to her feet and crossing the small space. She grasped onto him as his body convulsed for several more seconds, eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

When he came to again he was panting hard, mind muddled and body wracked with the feeling of nausea. He felt a hand in his and squeezed hard, Rey clenching her teeth at the pressure. 

“Armitage,” Poe said softly, his brows furrowing again and finally opening, staring up at Rey in confusion for a moment. 

“Who...” 

“I’m Rey.” She reminded him with a sad smile, “You should probably get some rest.” 

Poe groaned again and sat up, hand to his head. 

Rey watched him closely, putting a hand on his shoulder. She wanted to feel guilty for going through his mind without consent, but she needed to know what they had done. 

“You care for him. For General Hux.” She said finally, a curious lilt in her voice. 

“I love him,” he corrected, “And the fact that no one will let me see him makes me worry that he’s not alright.” 

Rey took a breath, shrugging some. “I haven’t seen him since he arrived. You are aware of his crimes against the galaxy, right? Or did he take those memories from you too?” 

Poe’s jaw set. “Get out.” 

“Poe, be reasonable... you need to stop this. Stop pushing away people that care about you for ones you only think care about you.” 

“You don’t know anything about the life I’ve lived. So if you’re just going to come into my quarters and accuse me of being unreasonable, you need to look at the big picture. Your General took two men against their will - hired a bounty hunter, even - two men that had been living their own lives together and not bothering anyone, brought them back to a military base and separated them. Now I know everyone is saying Armitage is fine but the fact that I’ve been told I can’t see him makes me wonder. If you’re here to tell me stories of rebellion heroes and the big bad, don’t waste your breath.” 

Rey stared at him for a long moment, letting her hand drop from its place on his shoulder. She stood and silently left without looking back. 

Poe let out a breath, his head still swimming as he laid back down on his bed, closing his eyes and trying to will the dark memories that had resurfaced away.


	16. Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve written and re-written this chapter several times - I’m not quite happy with it still and I’m not sure what it is, but I hope you guys like it either way. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading, commenting, leaving kudos, etc. You guys are incredible.

Poe's memories had slowly begun to come back to him. There were still large gaps, and many faces in the Resistance weren't familiar to him, but he remembered some. 

BB-8 was the first to get through to him, even though he still couldn't understand the droid. Since then, it hadn't left his side, and he was thankful for that. He didn't like feeling lonely and no amount of shouting or pleading was getting him anywhere in terms of seeing Hux. 

He had just finished showering and getting dressed for the day when Leia came to visit him, smiling at him from the doorway. She was the woman with the kind eyes in his dreams - dreams that he assumed were fractured bits of his memory, desperately trying to piece itself back together. 

"Did you want to come for a walk with me? There's something I wanted to show you." 

Poe simply nodded, meeting Leia in the hallway with BB-8 trailing close behind as always. The General smiled at the pair, happy to see the familiar sight. 

"Doctor Kalonia says you're improving well. Remembering some things here and there." She said as they left the base and headed for a small, worn path between the thick foliage that surrounded the base. 

"I know I must have been with the Resistance..." he said, scratching the back of his neck a little, "I remember portions... flying an X-Wing, an orange jumpsuit... small things. I kind of remember Finn and I flying a TIE..." 

Leia used his arm to navigate over a couple tree roots, "It will all come back in time. Kalonia thinks you suffered a pretty severe head trauma so there might be some things that never come back... I don't want you to feel badly about that." 

"But I want to know. The way these people look at me with familiarity... I was a squadron leader, right? But I flew for the First Order. I was decorated. I was the Supreme Leaders favourite." 

Leia frowned as they continued to walk. "Poe, we have reason to believe you were brainwashed and reconditioned into thinking you've been a part of their organization for as long as you've been in the Resistance. Do you remember anything that stands out as odd to you? Medical procedures, isolation, abuse...?" 

Poe wracked his brain as they walked, then nodded a little, remembering the time he had met those two First Order doctors. He shivered a little. 

"There was a room with two people and a large chair I was strapped into. They used electro-therapy. I don’t know for how long. I barely remembered my name for a bit afterward. I don’t remember anything else like that, though. That was the only incident. No medical procedures, no physical punishment. They were strict, but in a militaristic fashion. I did my job and I did it well so I was never reprimanded." 

"I'm so sorry, Poe." She whispered, "By the time we found the wreckage of your X-Wing, you and BB-8 were long gone." 

Poe nodded. He didn’t remember a crash, nor the supposed fateful day when his life changed so dramatically. But it was a day that eventually brought him to the man that he loved, and he had no regrets about that. 

"It isn't your fault. It's no ones fault." He said finally. 

Leia held onto Poe's arm, giving it a light, comforting squeeze. "Tell me about you and Armitage Hux. About where you've been." 

Poe sighed, smiling some at his lovers name. "We've been all over the Galaxy. After he was shot, I fled the First Order. I was remembering things and I was scared... we went to Dantooine and Hux got medical treatment. We joked about smuggling and then kind of just... fell into it. I found a guy who traded me a junker freighter for the TIE I flew. We ran jobs, spent all our time together." 

Leia considered the information for a moment, “So when you saw Finn and Rey the first time, you recognized them?”

Poe shrugged. “I... I don’t really remember what happened back then. It’s all muddled. All I know was that I didn’t want to go back to the First Order and that Armitage was injured and needed help or he was going to die.” 

"Are you happy to be free of him?” 

Poe's brow creased. "Free of _who_? Armitage? He's not my captor, General... I love him. I’ve willingly spent all my time with him." 

Leia gave him a sympathetic look. "Yes, you say that you love him, but did he make you feel that way?" 

Poe pulled back some, surprise reflecting in his features. "What? No, Armitage has never hurt me. He never would. In fact, I seduced him, not the other way around. I wasn’t some... some mindless sex slave." 

"But he made you believe you worked for the First Order and always had. He had you brainwashed and you were complicit." She explained, her expression full of concern for her young pilot. 

For her friends only son that she had promised to take care of. 

"And what would have happened if I woke up and wasn't complicit? I would be dead. He saved me, in a way. You know what they would have done to a rebel captive.” Poe could only speculate, of course, but this was war. 

The pair of them stopped as a small home came into view, and Poe stared for a long moment. There was something so familiar about it, and the large tree that grew in the front yard. He walked forward, hand resting on the tree as he looked around. 

"I've been here..." he murmured, turning to Leia. 

She smiled some, "This was your childhood home, Poe. This tree is special, and was given to your parents by my brother, Luke. As you grew, so did it." 

Poe leaned against the tree with a sigh, closing his eyes and attempted to pick through the broken shards of his memory. 

_"Poe, you be careful out there! I don't want any broken bones!" His mother called from the kitchen._

_"Listen to your mother," His father said, and Poe launched himself from one of the tree branches into his fathers arms, eyes alight with joy._

_"Mom! Dads home!"_

Poe didn't realize he was crying until he felt the tear drip off the end of his nose. He stood again and gave a sad smile. When he turned to Leia, she was holding her hand out to him, a ring on a simple chain in her palm. 

"Do you remember this?" She asked gently. 

Poe's breath caught in his throat as his mind seemed to break open, synapses firing as memories of his family flooded back to him. He grabbed the ring from Leia's hand and put it on, playing with the band between his thumb and forefinger. 

"I used to hold onto this for mom when she flew missions." He said, tears sticking his long eyelashes together as they slipped shamelessly from his eyes. 

Leia nodded, "The morning you left on that supply run, you gave it to me for safe keeping. You said you had a bad feeling, even though it was a pretty standard mission. Like you knew something was going to happen. I told you I didn't want the responsibility..." 

They both shared a laugh as Poe wiped the tears from his eyes. "Leia, I... I've killed so many Resistance pilots." He said, teeth coming down to chew worriedly on his bottom lip. 

The realization of what had happened had him trembling, his breath coming in short and shallow. He had killed people he worked with, people he _knew_ for the First Order because he believed what they told him. 

What Hux told him. 

His stomach twisted then and he felt a wave of unease wash over him. He had just been a game to the First Order. An experiment. A man with a mind open to malleability and somehow, it had worked. His mind protested, however, when he tried to think of Hux as a man who would have only stayed with Poe to ensure his survival after being shot. He could have left a dozen times, called the fleet, but he didn’t. 

In a world full of confusion, Poe knew one thing for certain. Armitage Hux loved him. 

"You weren't yourself, Poe." Leia said, interrupting his thoughts and taking him into a tight embrace. 

Poe pressed his face into her shoulder and he let himself sob, one hand finding security in that ring around his neck, grasping at it. What had he done? Why did the people he left behind - hurt, even - want anything to do with him? Why did they want to help a man who had defected, even if it wasn’t by choice? 

"What are you going to do with Armitage?" He asked finally, face still buried against the fabric of Leia's regal outfit. 

Her answer didn’t come right away, and Poe was struck with the feeling of unease again. "He is to be executed for his crimes against the Hosnian system. I'm sorry, Poe." 

He broke the embrace, shaking his head, his eyes glossy and wide. "N-no, you can't... he's changed. He's a different man! Please..." 

Leia considered the situation for a moment. “Poe, do you remember what the Force is? My brother had it, and I have it, too.” 

Silently, Poe shook his head, tears still making their way down his face. 

“Will you let me use the Force to see some memories of you and Hux?” She asked delicately, “It won’t hurt, I promise. I just... need to see some things.” 

Reluctantly, Poe nodded. He shut his eyes and began to think about being with Hux, and the things he remembered from the past year. The first time they confessed their love to one another; their first fight over something trivial that ended in laughter; the way he felt when Hux smiled or laughed because it used to be so rare. The night he told Poe about his past, the abuse he lived through, and his life under his fathers thumb. 

When he opened his eyes again, Leia was smiling, but it was not one of pure joy. There was a sadness there, perhaps regret, as well. 

She wiped a stray tear from Poe's cheek. He knew that despite his happiness with the former First Order Grand Marshal, his fate had been decided. 

"You can't, please, I'll do anything. He's all I've had for a year... he's just a kid who grew up abused his whole life.” Poe said, desperate to convince her otherwise. 

Sadness slowly turned to anger, then, and his eyes narrowed slightly. “If it was Kylo, you would say otherwise. He would be spared." 

The slap to his face came so fast Poe didn't even see it coming. His mind reminded him too that it wasn't the first time the General had given him a smack for what had come out of his mouth. 

"Don't you dare bring him into this! General Hux's execution is being carried out tomorrow morning, Poe, and there's nothing you can say to stop it. What would you have me say to the people who had family in the Hosnian System? 'Sorry, we aren't executing this war criminal because one of our own fell in love with him'? You're being ridiculous, Poe. This is war." 

Leia hated the tone she took with him, but she couldn’t deny Poe the truth. There was no hope for redemption from any counsel in the system for a man who had created something that took the lives of billions so callously. 

“I understand how you feel about him, I could see it when you let me in but Poe... you have to understand me, too.” She said softly, reaching out to wipe another tear away. 

Poe’s heart ached. “He’s a changed man. He didn’t know anything about love or compassion or someone caring about him until me — he grew up in the First Order, that’s all he knew and he left it!” 

Leia sighed, and Poe knew deep down that this decision was likely not hers to make alone. He knew she was right; he was in love with a man who, in the name of the First Order, massacred men, women and children. But Hux had known no different, expressed remorse — Poe knew though that wouldn’t be enough to save him. 

"At least let me see him one last time. Please. I want to...” Poe choked on a sob, trying to conceal the pained noise with a cough. “I want to say goodbye.” 

Leia didn't like the idea, but relented, knowing she would never win the trust of the former Captain back if she didn't allow them to see one another. It was hard enough to tell him that she was going to have to oversee the death of the man he loved for a piece of justice in the galaxy. 

"Fine. I'll take you to his cell, but only for a bit." 

She took his arm again and Poe’s tears and sniffles had subsided by the time they emerged from the foliage that surrounded the base. He wondered if Leia could feel his anguish through the Force; the way his heart hammered relentlessly in his chest, his stomach twisted and lurched, his skin sweaty but cool to the touch. 

His dark eyes scanned the base desperately for a way out - settling on a small craft with an astromech nearby.

As they walked towards the cells, Poe drew in a deep, shaking breath and Leia reached down to take his hand. That comforted him some, but he was still desperate to see the man he loved. He didn’t want to believe this was going to be his last time seeing Hux. He simply wouldn’t allow it to be.


	17. Unconditional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of injury from torture, psychological pain brought on by drugs. 
> 
> Another chapter that I’ve written and rewritten; I just hope you guys like it!

Hux didn't know how long he laid prone on the floor, barely lifting his head when he heard the cell door open and footsteps come in. Perhaps they were here to finish him off, drag him outside and shoot him, or however they chose to execute him. Perhaps the footsteps were part of the hallucinations that seemed to come and go, prodding at his psyche. 

He opened his eyes and the world struggled to focus around him. A gentle hand stroked over his cheek and moved hair from his face. 

"Mum?" He asked, closing his eyes and putting a hand over the other, drinking in the kindness and seeing his mother as he remembered her, bright green eyes and curly red hair. 

She was quite a sight to behold, and his heart ached for her. 

"Please help me, mum." He croaked, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks, "It hurts... everywhere hurts..." 

Leia was glad she had gone in to the cell first to check on Hux's condition. She knew that her troops wouldn't take it easy on him, but this - the extent of this was almost too far for the Resistance. She called for the doctor and Poe pushed his way past the troopers. He was hallucinating, clearly, under the heavy influence of something that was made purely for torture and no other means. She had played this game before; the back and forth on both sides and was all too familiar with the drugs that could be used to make someone believe in just about anything. 

Leia couldn't look at Poe. The guilt weighed too heavily on her. This was her fault, her men that had done this. She should have known better. 

"'Tage," Poe whispered, shaking his head, "What did they do to you..." 

Hux reached out for Leia, his grip weak as he pulled himself up, resting his head in her lap, still wracked with hallucinations. Kalonia couldn't bring the antidote to the drug fast enough. Hux pressed his face into her thigh, still weeping pathetically, his body curled against her in a desperate search for the comfort that never came for him when he was a boy. Not while his father was around anyway. 

"Mum, don't let him take me." He muttered, and Leia hesitantly pushed the red fringe back from Hux's face again, tinged with blood from the cut on his forehead. He clutched the fabric of her clothing desperately, fingers trembling with the effort and knuckles white. 

"Mum, please! Please help me..." 

Poe could barely move, feeling like he was stuck in place as he stared at the broken body of his lover. The Resistance always touted themselves as better than the First Order, but there were monsters on both sides and this proved it. He bit his bottom lip, eyes stinging. He was so blindly angry at the whole situation; nauseous with it. 

Once Kalonia arrived and administered the antidote, Hux's body slumped in Leia's lap, giving him reprieve from the hallucinations and the images of his past. The image of his mother melted away and the voices were finally silenced in his head; the door to the agony in his mind closed and locked again. 

Poe finally found the will to move and he moved further into the cell, lifting Hux's body up easily and resting him gently onto the small bed. Kalonia looked to Leia and gave a sad smile. 

"Bring me extra sheets and a new shirt. I'll take care of him." 

Leia rest a hand on Poe's shoulder, and he tensed visibly. "You have to know I don't condone this. That I don’t allow torture of prisoners of war.” 

Poe's jaw set, holding his breath before finally replying. “You don’t condone this but you allowed it to happen! Everyone — everyone who visited me said he was being well taken care of. You are all liars. There isn’t an honest person in this kriffing galaxy — not in the Resistance, not in the First Order... Armitage deceived me but at least he cared about me enough to finally be honest about what he did in his First Order career. It seems like all the Resistance wants to do is sweep things under the rug and pretend it isn’t happening.” 

Leia looked to Kalonia, only biting her tongue on the recommendation of the doctor which came with a shake of her head and a hand on her shoulder. A guard brought the items requested and Kalonia ushered Leia out, the two talking amongst one another. The doctor knew how hard headed both Leia and Poe could be, and knew this wasn’t the time nor the place to get into anything. Not when Hux needed care. 

Poe wanted to scream and cry, track down those soldiers that had done this to Hux and seek revenge, but he had work to do. This was his fault. He should have tried harder to get to him. He could barely look at Hux's bruised and bloody body; the ligature marks around his neck made his stomach lurch. He couldn't begin to imagine the terror that must have gripped Hux, but he knew that unfortunately, he had endured punishments like this before. He was a man not easily broken apart from the past that haunted him. 

Poe began applying bacta patches to the worst parts; the cut on his forehead, the brand in his armpit, and the burns on his feet. Hux seemed to come back to himself as he was placing the patches on his feet, letting out a cry of pain that made Poe’s heart thud with pain. 

"It's me." He said softly, reaching up and taking his hand, "Its me, 'Tage." 

"Poe," he said, his voice hoarse, "You're... you're real, right?" 

"Yeah, babe. I'm real. I need you to roll onto your side for me, I need to see if you need any more bacta patches." 

Hux sighed but did as he was told, moving slowly and stiffly. His back was littered with bruises, too, but only one laceration required a patch. Poe applied it and then kissed that constellation of freckles he adored so much before helping Hux lay on his back again. 

"They're going to kill me, you know." Hux said, “If the troops don’t, first.” 

Poe frowned, his eyes glistening. "I won't let them. Leia said the order was given from the council... I don’t even know what she was talking about. Shouldn’t there be a trial or...?” 

Hux squeezed his hand. "You can't stop them. They do what they want. Kill who they want. I have nothing to offer them for lenience. I’ve been gone from the Order for too long to have any relevant information.”

Poe leaned down and gave a soft, slow kiss to Hux's swollen lips. He left reluctantly only to go into the refresher and get some warm towels to clean the blood from him. 

"You didn't let the First Order kill me. I won't let the Resistance kill you." He said firmly. "I'm remembering things again, 'Tage. My parents. The Resistance... you lied to me when I woke up. You let them recondition me... but you love me.” 

Hux closed his eyes with a deep sigh. “I used you for my personal gain, and I feel terrible about it. I wanted to be honest with you but what was I to say? That I’m sorry I brainwashed you and made you forget your entire life and then I accidentally fell for you? I’m sorry, Poe... I’m so sorry and I can’t give you back what I took from you.”

Poe slid the cloth over Hux’s face gently and cleaned the blood from his beard before moving on. He hissed in pain here and there, but otherwise, he was silent. 

“You made choices that suited you best. But then you let me in to your quarters... spent time with me. Ran away with me after I made you defect from the only thing you knew.”

“The First Order wasn’t as important as you.” Hux confessed, eyes still closed and focused on the soft slide of the warm cloth on his skin, helping him feel a little more human than a beaten dog. 

"Two men who should be enemies falling in love. Ironic." Hux mused, opening his eyes finally and looking to his lover. "You... still love me? After all of the awful things I’ve done to you... I can’t even begin to make it up to you." 

Poe nodded, "Yes. I do." 

Hux frowned, reaching up and cupping Poe's cheek in his hand. Tears burned in his eyes and guilt felt like it was burning a hole in his gut. 

"I'm sorry for taking so much away from you." 

Poe pressed his face gently into Hux's hand, trying to ignore the angry marks and bruises around his wrists where the binders had been. 

"What do we do now?" He asked. 

Hux shrugged, letting his arm drop down beside him. "They're executing me tomorrow... just spend a little more time with me. I want to go out with happy memories." 

Poe swallowed past the painful lump in his throat. "You're not dying... stop talking like that." He pushed his fingers through his hair and let out a breath. "We have to get you out of here." 

"And how do you propose we do that? You'll be labeled a traitor and they'll come after you, too." 

"I don't know, okay? Give me a minute to think." 

Poe busied himself, cleaning the last of the blood from Hux and helping him change into some clean clothing. He laid two cool cloths on the tops of Hux's feet to try and reduce the swelling, knowing he wouldn't get far if he couldn't even get boots on. 

"I'm going to have to make it look like it was an accident you got out. Then they won't be able to tie it back to me." He thought out loud, his voice low. 

"Why don't you just come with me? We can go on the run again... just the two of us. We can get back to Naboo somehow, get in our ship and just go." 

Poe shook his head. "If I'm with you, Leia will just send that Fett guy after me again. I'm going to have to disappear somehow. Fake my death again. I mean, it happened once, it can happen again, right?" 

Hux grabbed Poe's hand, pulling him close as he threaded their fingers together. 

"But you will find me again, right?" 

Poe smiled "It's a big damn Galaxy, but it's nothing without you in it." 

"You’re just going to leave the Resistance? Isn’t that everything to you?”

Poe shrugged. "You’re my everything, Armitage. Maybe we weren't meant to be warriors. Maybe there's a different path for us. This isn’t our war any longer.” 

Hux thought momentarily about what Ren had said if he didn't come back to the fleet. He sighed then, giving Poe's hand a squeeze. 

"The night I had that nightmare - Ren was in my dreams. Connecting with me. However they do that using the Force. He wants me to come back to the First Order. He said if I returned willingly, you could come too and be accepted back into the ranks. If I didn't come back and someone had go get us, he'd kill you." 

Poe stared at Hux, worry creasing his brow. "So... what do we do? I leave and I'll be tracked down. You don't go back and you'll be tracked down. You stay here and they kill you..."

Hux laughed, but it was cold and hollow, lacking any joy. "Who would have thought out of everyone in this damn war that a Grand Marshal of the First Order and a pilot for the Resistance fall in love... and are now trying to come up with a way that both allow us to live...”

Poe smiled sadly, getting comfortable on his spot on the floor and resting his head next to Hux's with a sigh. 

"What else is there to do? Stay with our respective sides until we come up with a better plan? I love you but... I can't go back to the First Order. I can’t kill these people who trust me here." 

Hux brought a hand up and began sliding his fingers through Poe's curly hair, happy enough to just lay here and not think about all of the problems surrounding them. Could he go back? Could they bare to be apart? He pressed a kiss to Poe's temple, his stomach twisting at the idea of being apart from the man he loved. 

"I suppose that is the best idea. We could use a secure comm link to communicate. Meet up sometimes until it is safe for us to get away. Bide our time. Its a kriffing stupid plan, but what more do we have?"

"I feel like I'm going to go crazy without you." Poe confessed, fingers slipping up under Hux's shirt and sliding over the skin gently. 

Hux felt his heart begin to beat harder. "We'll get through this." He murmured, "I'm just glad you still love me even given everything that happened." 

"It's in the past. Leave it there. We've got the future now." 

Poe sat up only enough to kiss at Hux's jaw. 

"I'm going to send BB-8 to get you out of here. It’ll know what to do. Just trust it. And me. I need you to trust me."

Hux nodded a little; “I do.” 

He pulled Poe up to kiss him hard, feeling his eyes beginning to burn again with unshed tears. They were a brilliant green as they parted, and Poe smiled. 

"I'll never forget those eyes." He whispered, reaching to his neck and undoing the chain that held his mother's necklace. He put it around Hux's neck and tucked the ring under his shirt collar. 

"That was my mother's. She used to give it to me to hold onto while she was away on missions. Now I want you to have it so you never forget me and my promise that we will be together again." 

Hux put his hand over the ring under his shirt, looking to Poe. His heart still beat heavily as his mind struggled to comprehend everything he was feeling. He had never felt unconditional love before, and here he was; the night before he was supposed to be executed with a lover that remembered everything. Hux had never felt better in all his years than he did when he was with Poe. He truly didn't know how he would survive without him, but they were both going to have to try for a little while. 

"We will be even if it's the last thing I do in my life." He promised, kissing Poe once more. "I love you, Dameron." 

Poe squeezed his eyes shut as they pressed their foreheads together. "I love you, Armitage." 

He stole one more kiss before pulling back, hearing heavy footsteps coming down the hallway towards the cell. 

"Wait for BB tonight. It'll know what to do." He whispered before standing and rubbing his eyes. 

Poe nodded at the trooper and waited for the cell door to open. He didn’t look back at Hux, as much as he wanted to. He slipped out and made for his quarters where he would plan and debrief his talented little droid for the big escape.


	18. Escape

Hux managed to get some sleep when Poe left, considering for a moment that General Organa had something to do with the lack of torture. Maybe he looked worse than he felt, which didn't give him a lot of confidence. Maybe Poe saved him from any further injury. 

That beautiful idiot that was risking everything. For him. 

He mulled over his options, and decided that it was probably best he return to the First Order. If Kylo Ren planned to kill him, then he would rather it be at the hands of someone in the Order (yes, even at _Ren's_ hands) than the Resistance. He didn’t want to give the Resistance the satisfaction. 

If Ren was telling the truth? Hux wasn't exactly sure what he would do. 

He was woken by a series of beeps and whistles at the cell door, tired eyes opening slowly to see Poe's BB-unit bobbing in place. The cell door was slightly ajar and he knew this was the only chance he had. 

Hux got up but the moment he put weight on his feet the burns let themselves be known again. The bacta worked well but it wasn't instant, especially not patches. Hux bit his tongue to keep from making any noise, each step feeling like he was walking on glass. 

He pushed the cell door open and looked down the hallway, two troopers crumpled on the floor nearby. Hux raised a brow and looked to BB-8, who beeped at him a little before rolling away. 

"Good job, little one." He congratulated the droid, beginning to follow it through the silent corridors.

He didn't know what time it was, but the base was nearly silent aside from patrols whom BB-8 knew how to avoid, sticking to dark corners. Hux slid through the shadows, ignoring the agonizing pain in his feet. His body still hurt all over from the beating, and while he had hoped someone might return with painkillers, that never happened. A war criminal such as himself was meant to suffer. 

By the time they made it out to the X-Wings, Hux was leaving tracks of blood with every step he took. Perspiration had gathered at his brow as his body fought just to stay functional in his current state, still sleep deprived and operating on Hux's sheer willpower to survive. He hadn't eaten for what must have been days, and the rumbling hunger had long since given way to tortuous pangs. 

"I can't fly these." He whispered to the droid, "I can't fly anything." 

BB-8 beeped and whistled, and Hux glanced upwards when he heard a flurry of beeps in response. 

There was hope for him after all. 

He crouched down in front of BB-8, not caring how much his body protested. It cooed in concern, and Hux managed a small smile. He placed his hand on its domed head and rubbed affectionately. 

"Please take good care of Poe for me." He murmured, trying to steel himself and not let his emotions get the best of him. 

A port in BB-8s side opened and it offered up a small, personal comm to Hux, who took it and slid it into the waistband of his pants to conceal it. He nodded a little, then pet the droid once more before standing. 

"Don't let him do anything stupid." He warned the droid and BB-8 whistled and beeped. Hux knew that there was only so much it could do to stop a man like Poe Dameron. 

"Oh, and wake the base soon after I leave. Tell Poe they need to evacuate immediately. If Ren chances a look into my mind, he will see the small base here and he will organize a strike team. I want everyone out as soon as they can." He wasn't going to chance Ren getting a hold of Poe - not after the nightmares of him he had been left to deal with. 

BB-8 whistled an affirmation that made Hux feel slightly less guilty about leaving. He knew if he stayed, the morning sunrise would be his last, and he wasn't ready to die. 

Not yet. 

Each step up the ladder of the X-Wing ripped more at the wounds on the bottoms of his feet, but soon he was seated and plugging in coordinates for a neutral planet where he would take the X-Wing and then get into contact with the First Order. The rest of the work was up to the astromech that took over as he set the ship to auto pilot. 

BB-8 had already headed off on its way back to Poe by the time the ship took off, knowing that the noise would alert guards that there had been an unsanctioned take off. Luckily for Hux, he knew they wouldn't be able to scramble the pilots fast enough to intercept him, and he was in hyperspace on his way to Dantooine before anyone knew anything was amiss. 

He sighed, his heart heavy as he sat back in the seat of the X-Wing for the short flight to the familiar planet, the one that tended to him and his nearly lethal blaster wound. Poe was already so far behind, and he was alone. Headed back to call for the First Order to come get him, not knowing what to expect when he arrived. 

Torture, execution, Ren's terrible mind reading - it was all awful. He didn't believe Ren would actually offer him a position of power after going rogue, but the Knight had surprised him before. He still wondered if everything that had happened was just a dream or if Ren was somehow powerful enough to connect with his subconscious mind. He had tried his best to educate himself on Force users, but it seemed that their power varied greatly; what information he could get on users was often not very educational at all. 

When the X-Wing landed, he used the medical kit in the cockpit to change the dressings on his feet. They stung, and he knew he would have to spend some time in a bacta tank when he got back to the First Order. He hadn't realized until he moved to climb out of the cockpit how much his ribs ached. The bones were either bruised or broken, and breathing in too deeply caused ripples of pain throughout his body. 

Still, he climbed down and began his trek to town, not wanting anyone in the First Order to see the X-Wing that was his beacon of salvation. 

Every step made him want to vomit; every breath made him want to pass out. 

When he reached town, the dressings on his bare feet were bloody again. The main strip was devoid of life in the pre-dawn hours save for a merchant that was on her way to work, eyes widening when she saw Hux. She dropped the bags she was carrying and rushed to him, latching onto him as his left leg finally gave up and he dropped to one knee. 

He could hear himself muttering the sequence to the comm link he and Ren used, but he felt as if he was outside of his own body. He was dehydrated, starved, and by the woman's reaction he was a poor sight to see. He didn't recall the woman leaving to establish contact with the First Order and he wasn't even aware of her presence again until she was pushing a cup of water to his lips. He drank slowly, knowing that too much would make him sick. As much as Hux wanted to be anywhere besides the middle of a sidewalk feeling like he was clinging to life, he didn't have the energy any longer to move. 

He felt like only minutes had passed when he saw a familiar shuttle come into view. Maybe it had been hours. He didn’t know. 

An upsilon-class command shuttle. He should have been happy; absolutely joyous at seeing the vessel, but instead his hand went to the ring underneath his tee shirt, allowing himself to think about Poe one last desperate time before repressing all of the memories of joy, happiness and true love. 

Hux stumbled and bled as he made his way to the shuttle, leaving bloody footprints in his wake much like the rebel base. The boarding ramp eased its way down with a hiss and grind of metal, and Hux was met with stunning chrome. 

Phasma. 

He could have said something - anything - but his body had decided it had enough and he could only waver in place on his feet a little before he was pitching forward. He fell against that chrome armour with a pained groan before he let absolute fatigue take over, going limp with unconsciousness in his friends arms.


	19. Bend the Knee

When Hux came to, his surroundings were familiar. Green eyes opened slowly to take in the star destroyers medbay, and the comfortable fabrics of the black cotton tunic and pants he wore. He drew in a long breath and was pleased when he didn't feel his bones scream with pain. 

He was still attached to an IV to give him necessary fluid and vitamins, but he felt better. It may have been the painkillers, too, but he didn't mind. Perhaps he had been in the bacta tank, too, but if he had been, he didn’t remember it. 

His hand slipped up to his neck and found the ring there, playing with it for a moment before tucking it back under his tunic and out of sight. He sat up and rubbed his face, scratching at his beard and felt delighted when he yawned and his jaw didn't pop or crack. 

The medical droid came over to remove his IV from the back of his hand, which meant his stay in the medbay was complete. He got out of bed and checked himself in a nearby mirror; happy to see the cuts had stitched themselves in the bacta. There was still deep bruising under his left eye, over his forehead and around his neck where the trooper had both strangled and electrocuted him with that whip, but all the major injuries had healed up. 

He was drawn away from the mirror when he heard the clinking of familiar armour plating, turning to see Phasma appear in the doorway. She paused for a moment, taking in her friend before closing the distance between them. 

She stopped, then drew Hux to her and squeezed him in a hug, Hux pressed to her armoured shoulder. It was unlike her, but they hadn't been apart since Phasma had first joined the First Order when she was a teenager. 

Hux hugged back, albeit briefly. 

"My apologies for the display of affection, Grand Marshal. I've... missed you. Worried for you." 

Hux raised a brow, "You were worried about me? Captain, that is most unlike you." 

"And it is most unlike you to not return from a routine mission. We thought that the Resistance had captured or killed you." 

Hux nodded, his clipped and stiff mannerisms easily coming back to him as if he hadn't been gone a day in his life. 

"Well. I am difficult to kill." 

"The Supreme Leader requests your presence in the throne room at once." 

Hux nodded some, "Is he planning to kill me?" 

"He hasn't ordered your execution, no, though I'm sure many of us wouldn't stand for it if he had." 

Hux's head cocked slightly at that, "Oh come now, I'm sure everyone loved when I didn't come back from that mission." 

His tone was bitter and resentful, arms crossing over his chest, but Phasma wasn't phased by his attitude. She never was, and never had been. 

"The entire First Order knows you are the right man for the job. Even the Supreme Leader. I'm sure you don't need me to list the reasons why, though if it feeds your ego, I'm happy to do so." 

Phasma's slightly playful tone came through the vocorder despite her best efforts, and Hux rolled his eyes, smacking the shoulder armour. He didn't realize how much he had missed Phasma's company until now. 

"Your beard isn't regulation." She reminded him as they headed out of medbay and to the turbolift that would take them to Ren's throne room. "And you don't have shoes on." 

"I've been conscious for approximately twenty minutes, Captain, once I get back to my quarters I'll be sure to both shave and acquire uniform boots. You've missed taunting me, haven't you? Need to get all your jabs in now?" 

Phasma chuckled a little as they made their way into the lift. She elbowed Hux in the side a little, gently since he was still sporting bruises. 

"Of course I do, Grand Marshal. I haven't had someone to tease for over a year. No one to speak to about the goings on in the First Order." 

“You know I hate gossip.” He sighed. 

“Not when it involves corellian brandy.” She reminded him. 

Hux glanced to her for a moment, offering the smallest of smiles in her direction. It wasn't often that they had gotten time to themselves where they could sit in their quarters or in a common room with a bottle of liquor and talk about everything that was going on. Phasma was the only one Hux had known for any length of time whose company he actually enjoyed. Everyone else he had come across was expendable. 

Everyone except for Poe. 

His heart ached for a moment at the thought of his lover. 

When the turbolift doors opened, he strode forward with Phasma following close behind, his hands clasped behind his back. Ren was standing next to the throne instead of sitting on it, and for the briefest of moments, Hux remembered the dream he had. He stopped near the thrones steps and Ren came down to meet him, dark eyes cast over him. 

"Who did this to you?" A hand reached out as if Ren would touch him, but he pulled back when Hux shot him one of his glares. 

"Rebels." Hux replied without a beat, "My life has been increasingly interesting, as of late." 

Ren sneered a little at the word 'Rebels', as if even hearing the word brought him some kind of physical pain. 

"We have been quietly monitoring their activity. Biding our time. They have reached their contacts scattered around the Outer Rim and they're beginning to collect together en masse. We have reason to believe there will be an effort to push us back into the Unknown Regions." 

Hux scoffed at that, "Back to the Unknown Regions? With our force? And you would allow this?" 

Ren shook his head, "Why do you think I was prepared to send troops to the very edges of the galaxy to find you?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Ren. You thought I was dead." Hux snapped, "You all did!" 

He gestured about the room, but no one moved. No one except Ren. 

The backhand from him came so swiftly Hux hadn't even seen it coming, and it sent him reeling enough to have to catch himself on Phasma. He righted himself, touching the corner of his mouth where blood pooled. He gave a sneer in Ren's direction, wiping the blood away. 

"You've always underestimated me." Ren said in an accusatory tone, "You have no idea of my abilities. You thought you dreamed up a wild fantasy of me asking you to come back, didn't you?" 

Hux stared at Ren, green eyes slightly wide as he watched the man. There was no way - was there? Had Ren managed to hone his power within the Force even more to be able to communicate with him despite the distance? He remembered when Ren had spoken about Skywalker, and how he had said afterward that he knew he was dead. He could feel it within the Force. 

"Describe the clothing." Hux said, crossing his arms across his chest. 

Ren's one eyebrow came up slightly, "You mean the one awaiting your arrival in your quarters? The cape lined a blood red and trimmed with gold... a laurel wreath headpiece... I've seen it because I made _you_ see it." 

Hux watched Ren's every move. He could break his neck with a twist of his hand; he had always been hyper aware of how fast he could kill him, yet he'd done little more than toss him about like a child's toy in all the years they'd been forced to work alongside one another. 

Hux didn't speak. 

"Where is the rebel base that you were held? I know it wasn't Dantooine." 

Hux felt a prickling sensation swimming through his head suddenly, and he knew Ren was extending the invisible tendrils of the Force into his mind. He didn't resist, though he didn't give Ren reason to read more into his mind than he had to. He didn’t need him accidentally seeing anything about Poe. 

"Yavin 4." He offered, "I escaped during a power failure in the middle of the night. Stole an X-Wing... programmed the astromech to do the flying. I plotted the course to Dantooine because I had no idea where the fleet was, and contacted you from there. I wasn't about to show up in a lone X-Wing and expect not to get blown out of the sky." 

Ren seemed satisfied with his answer, and the tendrils receded along with the prickling feeling. Hux squeezed the bridge of his nose a little bit to shake the last of the feeling from his head.

"The people who injured you will pay. Your pilot allowed this to happen?" 

"He didn't exactly have a say." Hux said with a dismissive shrug, steeling himself from showing any emotion at the mention of Poe. 

"If he is still under the influence of the reconditioning, perhaps it will be good to have a man on the inside. Phasma will see to it that he's not killed and only claimed when the First Order needs him again." 

Hux nodded curtly, his heart beginning to hammer hard in his chest. He knew what would await Poe if he ever returned to the First Order and it was enough to make him feel like he was going to be sick. Poe was better than anything the First Order could offer him, and he was simply going to bide his time here until they could finally be together again. 

Ren put his hand to the small of Hux's back, and he knew the rigidity of his body at the man's touch was evident. Still, the Knight pushed him forward towards the throne and made him sit. 

"Have you decided? Supreme Leader? Emperor?" He asked, a hand on Hux's shoulder. 

Hux figured he must have been quite the sight; a black eye and bruises, in First Order issued lounge wear with unkempt hair, a beard and bare feet. Like a child sitting in their fathers chair, unaware and uncaring about their disheveled state. He spared a glance to Phasma and about the room; the Praetorian Guards that had been slaughtered some time ago were replaced with Ren's own Knights. They were more intimidating than Snoke's guards, and Hux wondered if they felt the same about Ren's decision, or if they resented it. 

Resented him.

They could very well be the death of him. 

Finally, he turned his attention to Ren, who stood with his back straight and eyes staring ahead, his hand still on Hux's thin shoulder. Slowly, Hux let out a breath. How long had Ren been waiting for his answer? 

"Emperor would be fine, Ren." He said, ignoring the too-dry feeling in his mouth. 

"Long live Emperor Armitage Hux." He said, and Hux watched as Phasma and the other Knights took a knee for him, repeating Ren's words, 

"Long live Emperor Armitage Hux!"

**Author's Note:**

> I live for comments and kudos (don't we all?) so leave some love if you want! 
> 
> Please feel free to say hi, follow me or send me a fic request [on Tumblr](http://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com)!


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